broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The outsider

In September, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy will release her third album. This one has been made without the help of her sidekick who was responsible for her first success in singing. In fact, Louis Bertignac and the First Lady of France don’t speak to each other since she started to date N.S., because he’s allergic to N.S. It’s a bit sad to lose a friend like that because of the man you love. In this case, I guess Louis Bertignac couldn’t stand exchanging his views with his former friend’s husband during a dinner at the Elysee with all of Carla’s friends. When you hate someone, you try to avoid him/her. And if one of your best friends falls in love with the object of your hatred, you just consider it as a treason.

I asked around me if people would forgive/accept their friend’s choice in love if their object of affection was someone they hated. And this is what they told me.

I do believe this kind of choice can ruin a friendship. Personally, I would fear my friend will change and become more like her partner. Besides, if I can’t stand my friend ‘s partner, I will have a hard time seeing them together for a dinner or just for a drink. I’m not hypocrite, and I can’t fake my feelings when I hate someone, so I couldn’t simulate just being polite with my friend’s partner during a dinner, and  it will be a real pain in the ass to stand him throughout a whole evening, just to please my friend. So my answer is no” U., 34, said.

I would try to understand my friend’s motivations for falling in love with someone I hate. Maybe my hatred isn’t justified at all, and if my friend really loves him, I think I will respect her choice. But I know it will be hard to accept him”K., 32, said.

It depends on how I hate my friend’s partner. But I admit that if my friend chose a true douchebag who can only say stupid things all the time, I will try to avoid to see him, and  it can have some aftermaths on our friendship” J., 31, said.

Why would my friend pick someone I hate? I believe that if we are friends, it’s because we share some common points” O., 30, said.

Well, only fools don’t change their mind. Unfortunately for our friends, we can change our mind on some people we dislike at first, and this is how we can alienate our friends. Personally, I don’t mind if my friend’s happy with him/her and if he/she treats my friend with respect. But if it’s not the case, it will give me a good reason to dislike my friend’s partner.

So, what would you do in a situation like that?


3 thoughts on “The outsider

  1. I would probably respect my friend a little less for falling for an established schmuck who continued such behaviors. I guess that would apply whether or not I’d dated the schmuck. Either way, I probably would not want to hang out with the couple and would only hang out with my friend if he were not the topic of conversation. I realize how harsh this sounds, but I think betrayal or bad feelings probably spread out like a spider web.

  2. dontdatethatdude says:

    I actually experienced a situation like this and at first I tried very much to remain friends with her, but over time he became very abusive and several times when she had no where to go because he was abusing her I let her stay with me and he felt comfortable coming to my home and calling at all hours of the night, until I had him arrested when he tried to break in. Because she didn’t try to protect me from him and because she put me and my daughter in danger and because she kept going back to him, I lost respect for her and slowly ended the friendship. She never believed me when I told her it was about him!

  3. Cricket, I do believe bad feelings take over the rest in such matter.

    DDTD, oh, that’s so sad for your ex-friend. I bet she kept on finding excuses for his behavior. When you’re abused like that, unfortunately, you can’t break the downward spiral until you really hit the bottom. Your ex-friend didn’t reach the bottom yet, despite her man put you and your daughter in danger. That’s so sad.

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