celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

Gifts that you give to me…

… no one knows

In one episode of Friends, Rachel admits she always swaps the gifts she received for something she really likes. And this upsets a little bit Ross, who realised his gifts to her also had the same fate. Recently, one of my friends told me she received a gift from her man that she didn’t like, and that she was embarrassed with it because she didn’t want to tell him his present sucks.“He wanted to offer me some fine lingerie, but he chose a horrible model, which isn’t my size at all en plus. He said I would look super hot in it, and though I know I could change the gift because of the size, I know I couldn’t change the model otherwise he would be disappointed” she said. I asked her what was the problem apart from the size, since except her and her man, no one else could see her gift. And she explained to me, a little embarrassed, that she wanted something else from her man. “I wanted to go and visit New York instead” she said.

The principle of a gift is that you give something to someone he/she didn’t except to receive, and is based purely on the mere principle of giving. One of my friends says that we tend to forget this principle, and focused instead on the gifts we expect to receive. “In this case, it can’t be considered as a gift anymore” she told me.

She’s right, but we also have the right to dislike the gift we receive. And in this case, what do you do?

I asked around me about people’s reactions, and this is what I got.

I put everything I don’t like in a box hidden in my basement, and forget about it, until things start to accumulate and I don’t have room to store anymore. In this case, I just throw away the very old stuffs” O., 34, said.

It depends who’s offering me a gift. If it’s someone I don’t have particular bonds with, I will try to give it away. If it comes from my family or my man, it’s another story. Generally, depending on the gifts, I will try to use them. Otherwise, I forgot about it”P.,34, said.

If I don’t like it, either I try to give it away to someone who really needs it, or sell it on ebay” U., 29, said.

I’m honest, and very straightforward with those who give me a present. If I don’t like it, I just tell about it. Generally, people who know me try to know what I like before buying anything, because they know how I will react”M., 35, said.

So, what do you if you receive a gift you don’t like?

I don’t know, I haven’t received a gift I don’t like. But maybe it’s because, two weeks before each important events, I just say out loud what I want to receive to everyone. And people generally understand the message”I., 45, said.


9 thoughts on “Gifts that you give to me…

  1. My fiance once asked me in October what he mother could get me for Xmas. I was reading the Sunday paper and tore out a review of a book I wanted very much, the third in a series. I asked him about it a month later and he said he didn’t know where the revew was, to please tell him the book again. This book I wanted as a thoughtful gift evolved down into a book store gift certificate from him, so the gift became my work to find, even as I had invested so much in trying to get it anyway. Mind you, he was unemployed (with a wad of cash), so he had plenty of time to do it right.

    Okay, right next to the book store where he got the gift certificate was a jewelry store, all of which are open the day before Xmas.

    That same Xmas, as he sat his butt on the couch, he saw the annual Xmas diamond gift propaganda and fell for it. Receiving that three diamond necklace, all it said to me was that he watched TV. It also said that he was fooled into thinking that the 5 carat versions on TV would not dwarf the $300 version he could afford. The thing was miniscle. I left it at his house.

    It was a baaaaad Xmas. I put a lot of thought and time into gifts and expect the same in return. He could have cared enough to care what I was reading as if it were something shared and he could have spent $300 a lot more effectively.

  2. Cricket, it’s so disappointing to see people don’t put that much effort into finding a gift that will please you, especially if you have made that effort for them.

  3. I prefer not to accept gifts, since I find it hard to return the favor.

    Nevertheless I get gifts from best friends who either ask me what I want or just know what to give.

    I don’t trade gifts. But I can give it away if someone else really wants it, and I find that the person who gave the gift, gave me just for the sake of it.

    I easily say no, if someone asks for a gift which is from someone close to me, even if I don’t like it (which is rare). Sometimes, it is just not about the gift. And that’s true.

  4. Pingback: Oh Well...

  5. dontdatethatdude says:

    This is a subject that bothers me a lot simply because I have odd taste and often people give me things I just cant use. Knick-knacky stuff you know. I have tried asking that they give the money to a charity or giving me a gift card so I can choose my own, but it doesn’t always work. I hate to tell someone who has given me something that I don’t like it so I usually don’t and when they don’t see it around the house they don’t ask! I am not pleased with the way it works out, but I know a lot of my friends shop all year round and buy things on sale that cannot be returned, so I accept it in the spirit of giving and smile and say thank you. I usually only give out gift cards because I think other people should be able to buy what they want!

  6. Shefali, it’s a good idea not to receive gifts. But sometimes, and depending on the gift and who’s giving it, you can really enjoy it.

    DDTD, I guess your coffee machine is included in your odd taste, isn’t it?

  7. Nice blog. Enjoyed going through it. Keep it up the good work. Cheers 🙂 You seems to be a creative person one can easily judge from your blog. Happy Blogging 🙂

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