I wanted only to be gentle, but I gave him jealousy and rage. Who knows exactly what I’m after?
I can change my punkymood now: apologies from both parts have eased the debate. Yet, I’m amazed how spiteful I can be when I’m pushed to my limits. I basically decided that I should remain distant with him. Unfortunately, there are some people who just bring the worst of you, and he clearly falls into that category.
Just before my hectic week wrapped with wrath, I discussed with one of my friends about those relationships that just bring us to madness, that state where you know that you shouldn’t be so mean, jealous, angry,… but you can’t help it. She told me she had a lover who just drove her to that state of mind, and that she felt so miserable all the time because she couldn’t control herself. In French, we say that “une histoire d’amour qui commence mal finit mal” (which roughly translates as “a love story that starts badly will end badly“). And in the case of my friend, this could apply. She said she knew from the start her love story was doomed, because from day one, she couldn’t help arguing with her ex. “It started with a fight. He was supposed to pick me at my apartment for a dinner, and he came two hours late with a miserable excuse. But instead of leaving him, I decided to give him a go anyway. I expected things to calm down afterwards, but he just constantly did the opposite of what I expected him to do, and as a result, I got mad at him all the time, and I knew I was wrong. It really got on my nerves, and I finally understood I had to call it quits with him: our relationship was going nowhere” she said.
It’s quite funny that just after this discussion, I got nearly into that same state of mind with one of my professional contacts. And I feel a little bit ashamed because he isn’t worth it at all. In fact, no one deserves to push us into such a state of mind. But we can’t help it.
So, have you ever got mad after someone just for a ludicrous reason? And what was that reason?