life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

That’s the deal my dear

Some people only live for the others’ attention, and they will try their best to search for compliments on their achievements or just their personality. In other words, they’re called narcissistic. An example? “When I met B., he was absolutely charming, always giving me tons of compliments about me. But I noticed that his compliments weren’t just nourished by pure altruism, because it always sounded like he was asking me a question about himself underneath.  For example, he would buy me a dress, say I would look good in it, and expected me to tell him he had an excellent sense for picking the right clothes. It was really tiring to live with him”P., 34, said.

“Everything revolved around him. He couldn’t do anything without getting the others’s attention. He chose carefully his clothes to get noticed. He wore a lot of perfume, so it was hard not knowing he was in the room, he talked very loudly all the time, if he was on the phone with someone, everyone could hear his conversation. But he managed to get indispensable to everyone, and always got a tons of compliments for what he did . Living by his side was a little difficult, because I felt I was completely transparent” K.,39, said.

He had the biggest car, the most edgy look, he wore a lot of jewelry, he would decide everything we do and he was with me because I thought he was admiring at first, but then I changed my mind”I., 34, said.

In my job, I have also to deal with those kind of individuals. And I must say that among CEOs, you can find easily a lot of those specimen. They’re the one who would ask for an interview (and send you before the D-Day the questions you’re allowed to ask them) on a regular basis, or the one who would constantly call you so you can include in your article their quotes, or the one who just can’t control themselves when there’s a camera in the room, and will do anything to get interviewed. They’re also the one who comes constantly in the pages of your newspaper, week after week, and the one who will congratulate you for your article, even if you basically took all his quotes and made an article out of it ( generally, if you’re a journalist, you feel a little bit manipulated by this).

Politicians too can be affected by this. In fact, I believe that when people around you always compliment you, you start to get used to it, and it inflates your ego.

So, would you date someone like that?


4 thoughts on “That’s the deal my dear

  1. dontdatethatdude says:

    I think those are the only types I have ever dated, to one degree or another, more like passive aggressive narcisists who really wanted all the attention, and would pout if they didn’t get it. Gross really! But I have to say I have some of that in me so that’s probably why I am attracted to them.

  2. DDTD, it’s OK, I also attract those kind of individuals, and I dated some of them when I was younger. Go figure out why 😉

  3. My mother is rather narcissistic about the attention, so I run the other way when I notice that.

    If you want to do a piece on how people are different in their phone persona vs. in person, enough so to constitute a break up of an LDR, just contact me.

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