life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, women

The hand that feeds


In the movie Sex and the City, there’s one scene where Carrie and Mr.Big talk about marriage. It particularly caught my attention because in this scene, Mr.Big is preparing their dinner, while Carrie just sits in front of him sipping her glass of wine. Around me, I know a few couples where the woman doesn’t know or doesn’t want to cook. One of my female colleagues confided once that she couldn’t even fry an egg. So, the other half of the couple is often designated as the cooker. And generally, the other half doesn’t know how to cook either, so they rely heavily on processed food, chinese and pizza deliveries, …

Yet, a male friend of mine, who’s a food lover, told me that his wife never cooks at home, because he’s the one behind the stove. His wife is lucky, I think. I just hope she’s not picky.

Many of my female friends told me they find a man who can cook and loves that really attractive. “A man who invites me in his apartment to prepare a meal to me, and by preparing, I mean really cooking something and not just heating a processed food or a delivery, can win me over, even if the conversation didn’t start that well” one of them said. “For me, who’s a food lover, a man who can cook divinely is certainly a plus. I do know how to cook myself, and I must say that I would get along pretty well with him. I also speculate that he will understand me better. My ex didn’t understand why I spend so much time behind the stove, and often told me he didn’t like what I cooked. He was allergic to any new meal I would prepare. We often fought about that, and this is probably why we decided to end our relationship” another one said. “A man who loves to cook is someone who thinks about the others, that’s what I think, and this is a quality that really turns me on” another one said.

Not all my friends or the women I know would be seduced by a man who can cook, though. It depends on their love for food. “I only eat junk food, and mostly the same thing all the time. In fact, I don’t care that much about food, I’m not curious. So, no, a man who can cook isn’t gonna win my heart just by cooking me a meal” A., 34, said. ” The only thing that interests me in a meal is the dessert. For the rest, I don’t care. So, he could be a great chef, I wouldn’t necessarily fall for him” M., 35, said.

So, do you know how to cook? And do you prefer cooking for the others, or people who cook for you?

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6 thoughts on “The hand that feeds

  1. I can cook; I just don’t. I like a man who can cook, so I don’t have to cook for him. If he can grocery shop, all the better. Oh, and do dishes.

    Over the winter, a first date said he’d like to cook for me. I was absolutely charmed. When it was falling though because of the ridiculous schedule he kept, he suggested that maybe he could throw together some chicken and rice. Thank goodness we wound up going out instead; I didn’t want the gloriousness of being cooked for to be done half-heartedly in a pinch.

  2. Cricket, it’s better to have a man who can cook, isn’t it? And if he does the dishes, well, that’s perfect.

    WIGSF, you belong to a rare breed.

  3. dontdatethatdude says:

    I can cook and I love to feed other people, but I don’t want it to become and expectation, so I like a man who can cook and knows his way around the kitchen. I have yet to find a man who can do the dishes to my expectations and that would be an added bonus!

  4. I don’t like cooking. I become a screeching shrew in the kitchen (let’s just say lessons with Mom didn’t go well, we’re not household-chore-compatible and I associate cooking with screaming) and I don’t WANT to learn. Why? Because as a het female, I will have to do ALL the cooking if I have the ability to do it at all. So if I don’t know how, nobody can make me do my womanly duty.

    It’s twisted, yes (especially since due to a work situation, I have to do weekly potlucks), but I’ve seen how it works with everyone else and I know that is how it goes!

  5. DDTD, there’s nothing worse than a man who only depends on you to feed himself and ask you what he’s going to eat when you come back from your exhausting day at work. And yes, a man who does the dishes is a bonus. 🙂

    Jennifer, not, it’s not twisted. If you stay behind the stove and do all the work at home, you’re basically assimilated to his mother, and that’s weird.

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