Recently, one of my professional contacts revealed some details about himself in our newspaper, thanks to a special edition we’re currently printing dedicated to the leading people of our country and their habits. Among the various details we learned about him, we discovered that he has a huge admiration for another CEO he worked for. He said that this man has taught everything in his life.
The strange thing about this admiration is that my contact is now like a carbon copy of his former boss: they treat people the same way and they think the same way. They even dress the same way (they share a common tailor). They share the same wife. There’s something even odder about my contact: he can’t help talking without referring everything to what his former boss would say, and he has a photograph of his boss and himself on his desk.
I find this particularly odd, because I don’t admire anyone in particular, and I can’t understand that. But one of my friends has a little theory about all of this, and she said that it depends on how easily influenced you can be, and on your ability to take decisions (even the smallest one) in your life. “In this world, there’s two types of people, the leaders, and the followers. When you’re a leader, you can’t really admire someone else, you will have recognition for some people, while if you’re a follower, you can develop a true admiration for someone. And I do believe that if you’re the eldest kid in the family, you fall into the first category, while if you’re the youngest, you belong to the second one. I see that with my little sister: she’s constantly trying to mimick me in the way I dress and act, and finds all my friends so interesting. If we’re at the restaurant or just shopping, she will buy the same thing I bought” she said.
Maybe she’s right. When I was invited to lunch with my professional contact, I noticed he was hesitating in choosing his menu, so he took the same as mine. It’s quite unusual: none of my professional contacts has ever done that with me. Only my sister and some of my friends do that. Moreover, now that we know each other, he keeps on mentioning what I wrote in my articles, and if he doesn’t agree with them, he wrote a column in our newspaper to prove me wrong.
I asked around me if people would prefer dating someone who’s admiring them or someone who just treat you well, and this is what I got:
“Thank god, I would hate someone who would admire me and who would place me on a pedestal. I believe that it’s easy to put quickly someone on a pedestal and then put him down as quickly. It’s frightening, I think, because it’s so easy to disappoint. We’re not perfect” I., 34, said.
“Oh, I wouldn’t mind if he admires me. My ex was like that, constantly cheering me up for everything I was doing. It really helped me to boost my confidence” J., 35, said.
“I find that extremely sweet lovers who do everything like each other, like dressing the same way. It’s flattering, I think, if he’s constantly referring to what to say, and can’t do anything without thinking about what you would think instead.” K., 34, said
So, would you mind a partner who admires you?