life, miscellaneous, rant, thoughts, women

Against all odds


Sorry for all of you if I have been quite irregular on this blog lately, but right now,  my computer is letting me down, and so does my mood. I’m in the middle of a big questioning about my career, and I’m seriously thinking about leaving the wonderful world of journalism. Being told many times that I don’t fit in my job, because I’m just a pretty face with a pea sized brain isn’t helping my ego. And I don’t want to become like most of my colleagues who rely heavily on drugs (medicinal or weed) to bear a very demanding and not so grateful job. Lately, all the fights I had with B. and a recent lunch with another CEO made me realize either I had to study again just to get a stupid diploma that would bring me nothing more in my knowledge of the markets, but just gives the impression I’m not stupid or I have to stop following the topics I do the coverage. It’s unfair, but it’s like that in the marvelous world of finance. I don’t know if I want to get that diploma, just to have the privilege to rub shoulders with assholes like B. or other fucked up CEOs who have their nose stuffed with cocaine. The four years I spent in this profession taught me a lot of things, and I’m glad I could travel the world and discover a lot of interesting people asides B. during those trips. I’m also glad that I learned a lot about many things.

The recent testimonies of my fellow journalists like my friend who’s harassed by one of her powerful contacts, the other one who’s very attractive and considered like a prize to win by all of her male contacts, and a male journalist who just chose to drop his investigation on a big scandal because his career was in danger (and  his life too) isn’t helping raising my motivation. Reading the site angryjournalist either.

This industry really makes it hard to do quality anymore. My boss are only concerned about one thing: how the newspaper will get filled everyday. What’s in it, as long as there are scoops, they don’t care anymore. Worse, sometimes, we’re now condemned to write articles on command because of a special ordered by the advertisement department.

This is my rant against this profession which I love less and less everyday.  This is my final rant. It’s time to turn the page.

Don’t worry, I will continue to write on this blog. I just need to clear my mind.

If you had a big career reorientation in your life, feel free to leave a comment.

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10 thoughts on “Against all odds

  1. Zhen Lu says:

    Hiya,

    Am I your first Chinese big fan? I do like your writing style and visit this blog on a regular basis but diffident to leave a comment, as I cannot make myself understood pretty well in English. Anyway, pls keep blogging.

    I am reading a Dphil in Chemical Engineering at Oxford but somehow I found Private Equity more tempting and decided to move towards it. My fiancee has been always nagging at me:’ why give up something you have learnt for ten years and put your finger into what you are really unfamiliar with? Any possibility to combine both? Like chalk and cheese…Is that worthy and sensible? ! ‘

    To be frank with you, I have no witty retort. I knew there is a long way to go. Hope I could pick up some financial know how quickly. ‘Knowledge is no burden’ – a Chinese proverb that I am using to comfort me when I am down…

  2. I’m having my re-orientation now. I hope that I will no longer sit and think about what if. I hope to move my butt and get to it so that there won’t be what if.

    Hopefully, you will find a light at the end of the tunnel. 🙂

  3. i doubt anyone who can write so thoughtfully for so long about the drama that is the human heart could have a pea-sized brain… and to have a pretty face…

    well, let them be jealous for they have good reason to be.

    it is just unfortunate–and says much more about them then about you–that they would have to denigrate you as a person to make them feel better about themselves or about their inability to make you who they want you to be…

    i say if you make a switch, go and write that book about relationships i encouraged you to write so long ago…

    live the adventure of a life that you would only dare dream about!!!

  4. The Last Spartan says:

    I’m very sorry to hear about this. I would point out the obvious and say that your blog readers are here for you. It’s easier to write when your mood is good but the blog is yours and could prove cathartic as you get through this process.

    I think that the thing that bothers me most about journalism these days (at least in the U.S.) is that it’s become more of a PR tool than a news service. People seem to care much less about accuracy than they do about sensationalism and selling newspapers.

    Just my two cents…

  5. Good luck as you begin the next leg of your journey. Over a decade ago, I had a big life change from being a published biochemist and lab manager to attaining my goal as a stay-at-home mom. People ask me if I don’t even want to work, which is the truth. Honestly, sometimes the truth isn’t glamorous, but you want it anyway.

  6. frauke says:

    Sorry to hear that… Et tu as déjà une idée de ce que tu as envie de faire à la place ? Tu te rappelles, moi aussi j’ai changé de boulot récemment – pour le mieux ! Courage, c’est très très dur, surtout si les gens te donnent le sentiment que tu n’est pas appréciée – mais ca ira mieux bientôt ! Envie d’aller boire un coup pour te remonter le moral ?! Bise.

  7. Hi Zhen Lu, thank you.

    WishBoNe, thanks sweetie.

    Someone, I will write that book, and tell you when it’s finished. And thank you for being a friend.

    LS, it’s not a question of mood, but a question of getting my thoughts together. Thanks for your support.

    Cricket, the truth is sometimes not glamorous. Thank you!

    And Frauke, you know…

  8. dontdatethatdude says:

    I’ve been really distracted and busy and I wish I had gotten here sooner! I hate to hear about this, because I have always really thought you were and excellent writer/reporter and I’m sure a superb journalist. It sounds daunting with all the stress you are experiencing. I hope you keep writing and if you love it maybe you can find a career in journalism that is not as bad as finance. I know nothing about the field so maybe thats not possible. Maybe you should start your own publication! Whatever you decide I know you will make the best decision! 🙂

  9. As a former newspaper editor (who got really burned out and left the professional) I can totally relate to your frustration — and having then moved on to a job as an elementary school teacher, I can tell you that it’s the same no matter what profession you are in. There’s always stupid shit to deal with (like getting some kind of “certificate” or “diploma” to make someone else feel better about what you already know). I’m at a weird career point myself, but all I can say is that it’s a good idea to step back and re-evaluate — and sometimes it’s just a matter of taking a break to recharge your batteries, or move into a different level of the profession you’re already in . . . good luck!

  10. DDTD, thanks for your support. Unfortunately for me, journalism is a kind of endangered species in my country, but also elsewhere. I know that the grass isn’t greener in other publications, and starting my own publication, maybe on the Internet, would be complicated. My problem is that I need an upgrade in my field, as to be able to be critic against all the topics and give my own analysis, I need more tools to do so.

    Angela, thank you! I know there ‘s always stupid shit to deal with, no matter what kind of profession you’re in. I was a banker before, and I dealt with another kind of problems.

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