Do we need necessarily a relationship to feel alive? Some people would answer negatively to this question. But others would reply yes. I guess it depends on how we consider the others’ attention. People who need everyone’s attention would probably say no to this question. People who need their lover or family’s attention would probably answer positively.
G., 40, who collects men, told me she doesn’t need a relationship to feel alive. “Relationships/commitment bore me to a maximum point. I won’t certainly feel more alive if I date regularly a guy. In fact, I’ve tried sometimes in the past. And I felt I was losing myself in it. I didn’t like it. How come I could feel more alive in a situation like this? I do enjoy my freedom and my ability to pick the man I want, when I want, with no strings attached. This is what makes me feel alive, but there are plenty other occasions where I can feel alive, for example if I get rewarded for my job, or get social recognition” she said.
I guess this paradigm also depends on how we love ourselves.
N., 30, confided that she enjoys being an independent woman, but she feels that she misses something. “Even if I do enjoy my life with the job I love and all my friends, I have this feeling of emptiness in my love life. If I find the man of my dreams, I know I would feel more alive. It’ s not that I don’t feel alive at all. It’s just that I would feel more” she said.
H., 35, said that she needs to be in a relationship to feel alive, or at least, to feel in love. “When I’m in love, I feel extraordinary. I don’t see the world the same way than when I’m single. I feel over the moon, and I love that feeling” she said.
J., 36, told me she has felt that way since her ex came back into her life. “We broke up for a stupid reason. And seven months after the break up, I was still not over him. I was just the shadow of myself during that period, crying and not wanting anything. My friends did help me to recover, but in my heart, I knew I wanted him back. And he came back, after eight months. He told me he thought about what went wrong between us, and that he couldn’t live without me even if he tried. Since we got back together, I have this feeling to be alive again. He brought me to life” she said.
So, does a relationship make you feel alive?