celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, women

Glitter and trauma

Is it really possible to have a sustainable relationship with someone who’s not from the same background than we? I remember once a TV documentary about a woman who met her rich husband in a club, and who described her life as a fairy tale with her playing the role of Cinderella. She came from a modest background, and accepted to live with him in the United States, in his lavish villa. She said she felt happy but yet, she was seeing a therapist.

I believe it’s not easy saying goodbye to your old life, where you have all your references, to embrace a new life induced by the one we love. But this my personal opinion: I need to have stable references in my life. This is what builds my strength. I couldn’t sacrifice every aspect of my life because of love. I would fear I wouldn’t recognize myself.

Dating someone from another caste raises some issues we wouldn’t have with someone from our caste. Money is probably the number one issue. Some people don’t care at all when their partner takes charge of everything and adapt easily to a wealthier environment. Some don’t and take a personal offense when they’re offered this and that. Usually, men are more likely to react like that compared to women. Some of them have the conviction that they should earn more than their lady, so, they live it very hard to be leaded by a wealthier woman.

The second issues are the social codes. If you’re not completely stupid, you will notice that you don’t belong to the same caste as your partner because his/hers has different codes. Good manners for example. I don’t say that because you come from a different caste, you don’t have good manners. I know how to behave in society, yet, I’ve noticed that the very rich people (coming from old and established family) have uber-good manners. Style can also be an example. While most of us rely on brands like H&M, Zara,… to dress, the superior castes rely on their stylist and/or brands like Armani, Gucci,… (but it’s not a synonym of good taste). Then, there are the friends/ entourage. “I dated a guy who came from a wealthy family. His parents were extremely posh and didn’t like me. His friends were spoiled little brats who didn’t consider me very well. I didn’t fit in his world, and that’ s why we broke up” O., 34, said.

Some couples do manage to get over those caste differences, though. We have an incredible ability to adapt to an environment.

So, would you date someone out of your caste?