broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Two hearts beat as one

There are many definitions for the term soul mate. One is someone who gives you the keys to search beyond yourselves and helps you to find the inner you but couldn’t stay on the long run. Another one is someone with whom you shared other life times through reincarnation. Another one is the other half, the person who makes you whole. It could also be someone who shares a deep connection with you.

Personally, I don’t believe in soul mates, depending on the definition of the term. Besides, I don’t like this term. But one of my friends, who’s an eternal optimist, do believe in this. She thinks there is someone special for everyone, and there’s a reason for people getting together. She believes long lasting couples are meant to be.

The truth is, I’ve met some married couples where one of the partners admited he/she wasn’t convinced the spouse was “the one”. “We’re married because he loves me and we do have a great connection together. But I’m not sure he’s the other half, the one who completes me. He’s a great support, I know I can count on him every time. He’s a great father for our children. I would say I married him for a question of reason. I had my heart crushed when I was younger because of a question of heart. I don’t think marrying someone just for love is sustainable on the long term” M., 37, said. “We got married because our parents wanted us to be together. We are so used to each other that we consider we belong together now, but it wasn’t obvious from the start” I., 35, said. “I never thought, at the beginning of our relationship, that he was the one. I’ve heard so many times that when you  find the right guy, you just know about it straight away. It wasn’t obvious for me”Y., 35, said.

Some people keep on searching for their other half, sometimes all of their life, while other choose to follow the voice of reason and settle with someone they consider good for them, not someone who makes their heart race at 100 miles an hour and/or causes them mental anguish. Somerset Maugham said that in a couple, there’s always one who loves and always one who lets the other love him/her. In some couples, this dynamic seems to prevail.

So, do you look for your soul mate, or simply someone who has the qualities you’re looking for?