life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Strange couples

I don’t know why, but right now, I feel the need to read again the Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal. In those two books, Thomas Harris described the beginning of a strange relationship between the serial killer, Hannibal Lecter, and the young Clarice Starling.

Maybe this is because a few weeks ago, one of my friends told me about her strange love life, with a man she has no common point with, except this. “I can read his mind like an open book. And he can anticipate my feelings before I even open my mouth. It’s really curious” she said. Apart from that, they’re very different, she thinks. She comes from a modest background, while he was raised in the upper social class. They don’t share the same taste at all for music, books, art, … But I guess this is only because they weren’t raised in the same social conditions. She’s intelligent, brilliant, and so is he. That is the common point that bounds them together.

Does it really matter to have the same taste  when you’re just on the same wavelength? My friend told me that when she met him for the first time, they had a bit of conversation about a common topic, and they shrugged and came to the same conclusion at the same time that both surprised them. Shortly after, they began dating.

Many years ago, I met this woman who told me she knew her man was the one because of this.”We were in the same College and followed the same science course. During one class, I had a hard time concentrating on the lesson, and I began drawing an elephant on my notebook. At the end of the lesson, I just passed by him, and I noticed he had drawn the exact same elephant on a piece of paper. I accidentally dropped my notes at his feet, and he helped me collecting all my stuffs. He also saw that drawing, and this made us laugh. I don’t know why, but at that moment, I knew we were meant to be together” she said. And so far, they’re still together, for what I know.

There’s a series of coincidences that makes us choose our partner, in some cases. Does it ever happen like that for you?

life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

The policy of truth

When I was a banker, I had a director who hid a lot of little things to her husband. She deviated her bank extracts to our office instead of her house, she stored some pairs of shoes in the boot of her car, and she also used her lunch time to see her ex-husband. We had the explanation of her odd behaviors once, when her daughter came for a summer job in our office. She told us that her mom acted like that because of her controling husband, a security agent, who was jealous of her ex and criticized all the time her spending habits. Her husband was ten years older than her.

This is an extreme example, but when you date someone who’s older than you, this is the kind of problem you can encounter, in a lesser extent. Some women I’ve met told me that when they go out with their girlfriends, they always give the hour when they’ll get back from their night out to their man. And no, they weren’t teenagers.  Some women told me they always let their man take charge for everything in their life. Their man deals with every aspect like the finances, plumbing, setting the electronical devices,… They also told me that they weren’t the one that worked the most in their house, and that they picked their partner because he wasn’t afraid of taking responsabilities.

When you accept to let your partner take the lead and the responsabilities for everything, you can get trapped in the role of a rebel teenager, unable to make her choices on her own and to stand up for them. Some people are perfectly fine with this, but others aren’t.

The key is to find a balance. Acting like a rebel teenager with your partner all the time can lead you to lie more and more about what you’re doing. This is not the sign of a healthy relationship. When you love someone, you don’t do something behind his/her back.

Besides, to be yourself, you have to take decisions and stand up for them, sometimes. There’s nothing more rewarding than reaping the benefits from something you did on your own, even if it’s meaningless.

So, would you let your partner take all the responsabilities?

life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Being boring

In the movie “L’Ennui“, the main character gets himself in trouble with a girl he finds absolutely blank but who manages to obsess him. He treats like shit, acts like an ass with her, but he can’t get enough of her. She on the other hand doesn’t feel anything when she’s with him, but she keeps on getting back to him until she finds another man. In other words, she just tries to get rid of her boredom by fucking him.

In high school, one of my classmates had a heavy turnover of boyfriends and she once told me that dealing with that turnover helped her killing her boredom. She said she could have stayed single for a while, but she needed something more to make her life less boring. I didn’t understand her logic, because you can date someone boring and it makes your life more annoying. Besides, you can even get bored in the bedroom if you pick the wrong lover…

Yet, I can see what she was up to. There’s something thrilling (even if it’s bad) in testing your power of seduction. There’s also something thrilling in  discovering the object of your affection’s personality if you were total strangers to each other.

This is why some of us, despite being in a relationship, seek for the greener grass elsewhere. In every relationship, there will come a time when you can get bored of your partner. It’s up to us to break the habit and try to rekindle our romance.

Besides, people can get bored easily. Take for example B. Last Tuesday, he was invited to talk on a TV  show, and in-between the questions, he was constantly messaging all of his friends with his blackberry.

So, do you get bored easily?

broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Sitting, waiting, wishing

Recently, one of my friends managed to take me despite my hectic schedule and my training program for a night out because she wanted to clear her mind, and mine too by the same occasion. After a few drinks, she started to tell me about the things that have been torturing her so far. I thought she was unhappy with her job, but it wasn’t the case. In fact, she’s a bit lost because of one her “friends” (if we can call him like that).

It’s just that I don’t know on what foot to stand with him. He can be really nice with me, then the next day he can completely ignore me. Recently, I wrote a funny note about my status on Facebook, and usually, he never leaves a comment, but there, he wrote a compliment about me on it, and all of my other Facebook friends read it and asked me questions about my relationship with him. I don’t know why he did this. So far, he has always tried to remain discreet with me. He never shows any particular attention when we’re with other people, he just remain selfless with me. Yet, from time to time, I receive an SMS or an email really nice from him, then, he can stay out of sight for weeks. Once, we had to meet with friends, and he acted like a total asshole with me. I nearly cried because of that. Then, minutes later, he sent me an SMS telling me he was glad to see me again (we don’t see each other very often) but he didn’t apologize for what he said to me. Parts of me want to hate him, parts of me love him.  I don’t know what to do” she complained.

Well, personally, I think the guy doesn’t know what he wants and what to do too. She should confront him to know exactly, but I’m not sure he would give her a clear answer.

What would you do if you were her?