celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Faking it

We all have to fake it from time to time. But why do we do so?

We can fake it because we don’t want to disappoint the ones we love/we care about. Usually, lies come handy in this situation. But in this case, is it a problem? I find it particularly touching someone who accepts to eat what her/his lover has cooked even if it’s terrible and awful (and the envy of throwing up is irresistible) and lies about how it tastes. Besides, what’s the point of telling the truth here, when you know that if you say so, you will only hurt the other?

We can fake it during sex, also. Here, women are more likely to do so, but I believe this is because we’re supposed to be more diplomatic. It’s not a big deal either (unless you keep on faking your pleasure with your partner. Then, there may be a problem). Telling on the other hand that you didn’t like it to your partner is honest, but mean and castrating.

We can also fake it at work. One of my colleagues once told me that when he was a soldier (back in the day, in my country, every young male had to do his military service), he had a technique to avoid being charged with work. Basically, his plot was to pretend he was busy all the time. He said he used to carry around a bucket full of water so that everyone thought he was doing something. And it worked. Now, as you can imagine, he’s not the best worker of my newsroom.

We can also fake it with our knowledge. Some people find it personally humiliating to admit they don’t have the answer that they will try to get around it. Some will try to cut the conversation quickly, some other will try to prove you wrong. Personally, I prefer when people are honest about this, and I’m tolerant with the ones who try to abort the conversation and switch to another topic.

We can fake to be in love. One of my friends has been for three months a guy she likes, but nothing else, and she admitted to me she didn’t think her relationship will last with him because they have no common point. “But I have to say that it’s good to be in a relationship, especially that I haven’t dated anyone else for a long time. I prefer pretending to be in a couple like this that being single. It’s such a burden” she said.

Why can’t we be honest?


9 thoughts on “Faking it

  1. Ellis I. Lee says:

    unfortunately, we live in a culture that promotes the idea that perception is reality… that what other people believe is actually more important than what we might think.

  2. Ellis I. Lee says:

    we do, but that takes courage… more courage than what most people have. just to let you know, but this post has inspired a story idea for me.


  3. It’s obvious – people fake it because it is convinient for themselves!
    It is easier, better, or faster to fake things than to go through the trial of being honest.
    Some may call those fakes “white lies”.
    Is it a problem of selfishness?
    Possibly, I think probably.
    When two people are completely honest however, the reward from the hard work is amazing.
    That is my story.
    -from http://woojin.weebly.com

  4. Faking it seems to be my current work culture. We pretend to be happy and enthusiastic, even when all we want to do is to go home and rest.

    I guess I will fake it to put others at ease, and to generate a more pleasant working environment. But honesty is still the best option for me. 🙂

  5. CT, indeed, faking it put down some difficulties in our relationship with others. It can create a nice environnement to work in, but you can always tell what people think about you anyway.

  6. Pingback: One Seashell « Some Thoughts as Written by Me…

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