broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

I just can’t look. It’s killing me

Getting dumped is a pill difficult to swallow for your pride. Especially if you get dumped for another person.

One of my friends recently went through this experience, and she told us how she felt disgusted by this. But at one point in the conversation,  one of my other friends had this remark. “But she’s pretty. You should feel flattered”. We all looked at each other, without saying a word. And quickly changed to another topic.

Is it flattering to be left for someone prettier, smarter, fitter than you? Personally, I’m not convinced at all. How can this perspective comfort you? I asked around me about this.

No. It’s not flattering at all. In fact, it just remind you that you’re not that pretty, that smart, that this and that, and this is why he left you for someone better than you”B., 30, said.

I must admit it’s painful to get dumped for someone better than you. But on the other hand, if you get dumped for someone uglier, more stupid, or utterly disgusting, you begin to wonder if there ‘s something wrong with you too” Y., 34, said.

It depends on how long lasted the relationship. If it’s a one -night stand, I could be flattered if he picked a woman as pretty as me. But if the bonds were deep, I couldn’t stand it”M., 35, said.

Well, as long as this bitch treats him very badly, I’m perfectly fine with this” I., 29, said.

I guess our ability to cope with a breakup also depends on how we love ourselves.

So, would you be flattered if you were dumped for someone better than you?


6 thoughts on “I just can’t look. It’s killing me

  1. It really depends on how you define “better”…
    I always hope I’m the one that can love her the best,
    but truly, if there was someone “better” so to say (in look, status, personality, etc.) then I’d have a battered self-esteem. I’d feel as though I can’t keep her from taking what’s “good” for herself.
    Now if that other person is better suited for her…
    It’s painful.

  2. Demitris says:

    Hey there modobs, I’ve been checking out your blog recently it’s quite interesting. You’re from France, right? In that case say ‘Hi’ to Daft Punk for me, they’re so frigging awesome and are great ambassadors for your country… a funky way!

    Now to get back on topic. Yeah, back when I was in my twenties I would take things seriously if I got dumped for someone else. Even if this does happen to pretty much everyone at some point in their lives, it used to piss me off to no end. A million things would rush through my head and to be honest I never used to take it very well.

    Fortunately as the years have gone by & through the many relationships I’ve had with women I deal with things much better now that i’m in my thirties. For one I’ve learned to not give a crap if things don’t work out. I adapt quickly to the situation & move on. Secondly i’m usually the one doing most of the dumping rather than being dumped these days, it’s not pleasant & i’m not proud of doing it but sadly it something that needs to be done sometimes.

    More often than not I feel the real reason most people get dumped for someone else is seldom that the other person is better than them. It’s more to do with people wanting a change, perhaps they are getting bored with the relationship which quite frankly isn’t healthy if this happens on a regular basis. We live in a ‘fast-food’ society where we seek immediate gratification & the minute we get a little bored & don’t find things thrilling than we decide to move on.

    We all need to realize that the other person we’re going out with is not a mobile phone or a pair of shoes that we can change anytime it fancies us. The other person has feelings & dreams that can get crushed due to our sometimes foolish whims. If we’re dating to change partners on a regular basis than it’s best to let them know from the get-go that we’re only interested in short-term no strings attached relationships. That way everyone knows what they’re getting into.

  3. Ellis I. Lee says:

    hope you got to spend new year’s eve in vienna with the orchestra and with strauss and the blue danube and lots of champagne!

    as for your question, if i still really cared about her, yes—i would want her to be with someone who was better suited for her than me.

    would i be flattered? hell no! but sometimes the hardest part of love is to simply let go…

  4. Ellis, I didn’t spend new year’s eve in Vienna. All I wanted this year was a quiet one at home (still, with lots of champagne 😉
    And yes, the hardest part is to let the other go.

  5. Hi Demitris,
    Thanks! Actually, I’m not French, although this is my mothertongue. I’m from Belgium.

    You’re right about the boredom. And we should all make it clear from the start about what we want in a relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone knows what they want, and besides, some people do expect that the feelings will turn into their favor. So, it’s never as easy as we think.
    Thanks for stopping by.

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