broken heart, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The pieces don’t fit anymore


When do we know it’s over?  There are many things that told you it isn’t working. The number one will be if you fight constantly with each other. But there’s a slight difference to make between fighting and fighting. Some couples feed themselves with fights. This is how they keep the flame burning between them. The mean fights which lead to a break up are the one where you just bring down constantly the other. Those are also the ones where you  can’t speak to your partner without screaming at him/her and get angry all the time with him/her because he/she can’t give you what you want. Shortly before Christmas, one of my friends called me, and was crying over the phone because she had another fight with her husband. She said she couldn’t take it anymore, that she didn’t feel desired anymore, and that the dialogue between them was simply impossible. She told me she had no choice but to call it quits. In her head, I knew it was over for her. Three weeks after, she took all her belongings from her house and got back to her parents’ place.

Fights can be a good indicator your relationship isn’t working. There are other factors. You don’t necessarily need to fight all the time to be unable to communicate with your partner. Sometimes, life makes you change in a different way than your partner, and you can feel you have nothing in common anymore with him. “We knew each other for a long time, but our jobs made it hard to see each other. Once, we were having breakfast together, and when we talked, we realized we felt like strangers to each other. We tried to reignite the flame between us, but it never took off. We decided to split, but remained friends” K., 34, said.

Sometimes, it can be the lack of desire, or you desire for the greener grass elsewhere, that leads to a breakup. It is said that when women go and see elsewhere, it’s because they aren’t in love anymore. This is not exactly true. Even if you’re faithful, you can break up with your partner because you have enough. Besides, some women can have multiple lovers and yet feel in love with their partner. “I’m married, and I have two other lovers. I go and see them just for sex. They are my lovers, and I make a clear distinction between the love I have for my husband, and the feelings I have for them. Besides, I know that it won’t last forever with them, but with my husband, I hope it will”  I. , 37, said.

Sometimes, you can break up because you realize your partner isn’t the person you fell in love anymore. That can happen if he/she lied about his/her personality/ activities. For example, if you marry a drug dealer but you don’t know about it. Or you have a relationship with a married person without knowing about his/her marital status.

Of course, even if you couple goes through a difficult phase like these, you can always manage to sort thing out, if both parties are willing to give it a try.

So, when do you know it’s over?


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