celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The laws of attraction

Have you ever tried that game with your friends where you decide who’s hot and who’s not? Recently, we were at the restaurant with my friends, and we started to discuss about this topic. We took a glance at all the men present in the room and concluded that none of them were attractive. One was decreed “handsome, but aware of that and probably loaded with ego”. Another one was “looking way too immature”. Another one was just “dressed too hype”. Then, we switched to the public personalities. One of my friends commented on one of my professional acquaintances who has that bad habit to write on my wall on FB. He’s also appeared a lot of times in public debates. All my friends find him physically repelling, but she doesn’t agree. “He’s not that bad” she said. We just looked at her with horror. Then, we talked about the new  Secretary of the Treasury serving under the Barack Obama administration, Tim Geithner.

(NB: Timmy  (sigh) has been elected the hottest politician around by all my female coworkers)…

All my friends also agreed on this.

So, what makes someone attractive, then?  This article boils it down, but there might be another reason. Unless you don’t care at all about what people say, you will necessarily need to validate your choice. This is why we tend to get attracted to those who attract the most people. Many studies have shown this. Do you remember in high school that if you wanted to be considered cool, you had to date one of the most eligible guy/ girl, or at least try to seduce him/her? Personally, I wasn’t like that. The hottest guy in my school just left me cold. He was just vain and shallow. We had nothing in common. But many of my classmates dreamed then about dating him.

Back then, it was the popularity that made someone attractive (for the boys) and looks (for the girls). When you grow up, this doesn’t change that much.

So, do you follow the rules of attraction, or do you just let your emotions guide you when you fall in love?


6 thoughts on “The laws of attraction

  1. Ellis I. Lee says:

    as an ugly man, i don’t think i am entitled to speak about this… especially since i was eating at the restaurant where you and your friends were pointing and laughing at me…


    on a serious note, i do think it is usually a physical attraction that sparks an interest to learn more about someone’s other qualities. so much of life is based on perception, and so many people can have different perceptions about the same person, thing, or event. and usually what we see in others is what we think we see — or hope to see — in ourselves.

    but people change (sometimes suddenly but most times slowly over time), and an important consideration for a long-lasting relationship is how your feelings for another person might also change.

    soldiers who return from war horribly disfigured… women who undergo mastectomies or hysterectomies because of cancer… supermodel niki taylor who suffered a terrible auto accident at the prime of her career and required over fifty surgeries that ended her modeling career (she is still very beautiful by the way)… if the relationship was based on attraction alone, who would fault any of their significant others to just leave them and find someone else to love?

  2. God knows what thought the waiter about us in the restaurant…
    Of course, our love has to evolve. This is the key for a long lasting relationship. And attraction alone doesn’t make a solid ground for a relationship

  3. I have to get to know somebody before I can even feel attraction. I am abnormal. By the time I decide if I even want to really go out with somebody, they’ve fallen for me. I wish I understood chemistry, but it’s more cerebral for me.

  4. I thought that article was very interesting – realizing that as much as we might think otherwise we are ruled by our instincts and our chemicals.
    What a person is supposed to do with that knowledge when looking for love is beyond me, but it is interesting non the less.

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