celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Picking your equal


I had once a long discussion with my friends about the theory of the better half. Some of my friends say we never pick our equal because we need to love someone we can admire, someone who can reflect a good image of us. I’m not so sure. I guess it depends on how you love yourself first. If you don’t like yourself that much, you will pick someone who doesn’t deserve you. If you are overconfident, narcissistic, you will pick someone you think you deserve.

The people who don’t deserve you aren’t necessarily those who are inferior to you. They can be people who don’t treat you the right way. I met once a woman who told me the story of her sister. She fell in love with a high profile guy everyone loved. But he treated her like shit. He would tell her to shut up while she was talking and would make unpleasant remarks about her looks all of the time. A person who has a high self esteem or just enough would have left, but she felt insecure and thought he had reason.

Besides, what is inferior to you? One of my friends, who’s a former model, picked her husband who wasn’t that handsome nor that smart. She shocked everyone when she decided to date him, because we all thought she deserved better. But her man was funny, sweet, caring and he made her feel like she never felt before. And we slowly understood he was the one for her, although this wasn’t obvious at all. My friend is someone who has a high self-esteem, and she picked the man she thinks she deserves. She made a very wise choice.

Sometimes, we can choose someone we think we deserve, but who will disappoint us in many ways. This can happen because we can get fooled by some obvious aspects like the looks. For example, if you choose to date a trophy woman or man, either you are as shallow as your significant other, or you will face a certain boredom after a while. You can also fall for a rich person, because it’s your dream, but the reality can really bite.

We tend to confuse our needs with our desire. I personnally think that the example of my ex-model friend should be meditated.

Don’t you think so?

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