celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The one

Recently, one of my friends told us she’s pregnant. It’s been only seven months she’s dating her man, and she’s four months pregnant. Of course, it’s an accident. But she decided to keep it. Her man has been really understanding and caring for her since the beginning, and he didn’t run away when he learned the news. But she’s not that happy. When they started dating, she said that she wasn’t sure he was the right guy for her. “He’s not the guy I’ve dreamed of all my life. We don’t have great common points together. We don’t share the same idea” she told us. We replied that he was caring and there for her. Not every man can do this.  Yet, I do understand why she’s a bit worried. I suspect she’s not that in love with him. She let herself be loved.

Does it mean we can’t really have the person we’ve been dreaming of all of our life? It depends. I asked around me when people noticed their significant other was the one, and this is what I got.

It wasn’t obvious at the beginning. We did get along really well, but I never thought I could say he was the one. After one month we spent together, I had to undergo a heavy surgery and stayed three weeks at the hospital. He spent the whole period sitting next to my bed and cheering me up during that time. That’s when I knew that I should never let him go” D., 33, said.

“I knew it the day we ran into each other for the first time. But the time was wrong at that moment. I just had a miscarriage, and one of my friends died. I was completely lost and hated myself.  Plus, he was married, and so was I. I was torn between all kind of feelings, and I kept on pushing him back. But he wasn’t the kind of men to be easily discouraged. And even I did hurt his feelings a lot and he felt forced to punish me back for that, we couldn’t get enough of each other and felt miserable when we were away from each other.  I realized I had to work on my self-esteem to get out of this situation. Once things were clearer in my mind, we decided to give up the fights, and to give it  a go. It took us almost two years to get together. But I know he’s the one, the man I’ve been dreaming of” J., 30, said.

“I had a list of requirements for my significant other, but I never met any man who could match those. After years of disappointment, I decided to lower these a bit.  I just expected him to treat me like a gentleman would do. And even with that change, he still wouldn’t show up. Until I met J. He wasn’t that handsome, but he made me laugh and treated me like a princess. He’s there for me, and that’s what really matters” O., 34, said.

“The truth is I never had a clear idea of what I wanted. I had a lot of boyfriends who kept on disappointing me and didn’t treat me well. Until B. came into my life. He put a real mess in it and forced me to change, but to change for a better. During that time, he was there, never criticizing me, cheering me up. Nobody has ever done that with me. I knew he’s the one”P. 31, said.

So, when did you know he/she was the one?

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