life, love, men, miscellaneous, rant, wacky, women

A thorn in the side…

… But to me, you’re a shining light

Recently, I had a huge argument with one of my professional contacts, where he basically wished me the best for my career as a journalist. He also told me that before being such a cutie, I was clever, astute, and that I could go far in my profession if I could keep my contacts. It just left me speechless. It started because I told him that he was great on his TV debate, and he didn’t believe me. The truth is, I don’t believe him either. I just think he’s not genuine in his compliments. He obviously doesn’t think I am either. Since I know him, he has always been flattering with everyone, all of the time. It’s not my case, so I feel insulted he could think I’m manipulating him. To me, I can’t really believe his compliments. I just think he said that to other journalists, that I’m just one among the others. The compliments really didn’t work in that case.

Complimenting someone is a sword with a double edge. You can really flatter the other, but you can also end up offending him/ her if the message is wrong. I’m difficult, so complimenting me isn’t a easy task. I just prefer acts. I don’t believe the guy because he has complimented everyone in our profession. This is just a tactic used by politicians to get popular with everyone. That’s why his compliments are just empty, pointless. But then, what makes a compliment work? And what is completely wrong?

You can tell to the most beautiful girl in the world she’s pretty, she won’t listen because she has heard that all of the time. You can say to the most brilliant and intelligent man that he’s clever, he will just take that as granted. But if you try to tell to the girl she’s smart, and  to the genius he’s sexy, the reaction may differ. It may, because if it’s a sentence he/she has never heard before, he/she can also wonder if there’s a catch. If the compliment  is not genuine and too big to swallow, it will never pass.

But you should never assume that because a woman’s beautiful, you have no chance flattering her by telling her how beautiful she is. Remember that we do get old, and that with time, this kind of compliments is much more appreciated as beauty tends to fade away.

Personally, I don’t appreciate when someone tells me I’m a cutie. I’m 30, for godsake. I’m not a little girl anymore. And besides, I know I’m not stupid 😉

So, what kind of compliments do the trick with you? And what makes you run away?


3 thoughts on “A thorn in the side…

  1. Ellis I. Lee says:

    i love this post!

    the funny thing is that i do not like any compliments because they reinforce the faults that i see in myself. recently someone tried to force a compliment on me and that basically redefined my entire view of relationships. more recently, she wrote this to me in french: “D’accord, mais je me suis beaucoup amuse avec toi.”

    for some reason, that really touched me… maybe because it was written in another language and required more effort on my part to understand. i don’t know, but i really liked it.

    there is much to love, hate, and fear in a compliment.

    i think the reason why i like that compliment so much is because it is a reflective statement about the past… about an experience that can never really be changed. that to me seems more honest and sincere.

    it is the difference between telling you: “modobs, you have a great career ahead of you” and “modobs, the stories you have written have made me appreciate my experiences in life more and i think i am a better person because of that… because of you.”

    i really appreciate you.

  2. Thank you Ellis. I really appreciate. And I really appreciate you too.
    I’ve noticed that it really depends on who’s complimenting you. I guess I would have accepted that wrong compliment if it came from a journalist, not a CEO.

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