Recently, some of my coworkers gossiped about one of our colleagues, who started dating her boss after he climbed the wall to her house, went through the window, and surprised her with his presence. This relationship was ill-fated from the start. Personally, I would have run away from him if he had done that to me. Geez, it’s creepy. As we were talking, one of my coworkers asked why the hell he couldn’t make it more simple. Flowers, an invitation to the restaurant, or just a simple “you’re beautiful” would have done the trick, she said.
She may be right. When we make it too complicated, we can end up misleading our significant other/ potential partner. An example? “I tried to tell him he’s handsome, but I didn’t have the guts to be clear, so I left him a message saying that he could run for a contest. He asked me what the hell I wanted to mean” I., 34, said.
Serenading to the one we love has to be done properly, without any implied message. After all, what is more touching than true words and acts?
But I have to agree that it’s not simple. When you want to declare your flame, you take the risk of getting rejected. So, being straightforward in such a moment requires a lot of courage. That’s why most of us will try to declare our flame in a let’s say more subtle way. It can be some hints: dressing differently, sexier, just to get noticed. Trying to impress the other by doing something courageous or outrageous. Sending sweet messages, anonymously…
However, this is how you can miss your target. By dressing sexier, you can attract all the men in the room, but not the one you wanted. “I tried that sexy black dress to get his attention. But he didn’t notice me. Instead, I got several indecent proposals from guys I utterly found disgusting” H., 40, said. By trying doing something outrageous, you can end up offending the other. “ I tried to impress her by showing her my strength at the gym. But I hit accidentally a guy, and she got afraid” L., 35, said. Anonymous messages aren’t such a good idea either. “I sent her repeatedly letters and flowers, without mentioning my name. She thought it was her neighbour who was sending those. She hoped it was him, as she loved him secretly” P., 35, said.
Besides, inviting her to the restaurant can go horribly wrong too. And god knows if she’s not allergic to flowers. Compliments can be dangerous too.
So, what would you do to seduce the one you want? Would you keep it simple?