This morning, I had a strange argument with one of my acquaintances where basically, none of us understood each other. I said one thing, he didn’t understand. He replied another thing. I didn’t understand. He had to ask everytime what the hell I wanted to mean, and I asked him the same all of the time. We ended the conversation thinking: gosh, on which planet is he/she living?
Luckily for me, this man isn’t my significant other. If he was, I would be in serious troubles. I don’t believe it’s possible to have a sustainable relationship with someone who doesn’t have a clue about what you say. I also believe that this miscommunication is a solid ground for fights. But how can we get into such a situation where we don’t understand each other at all? I asked around me, and this is what I got:
“Oh, I believe it depends on both personalities. It also depends on your experiences, your personal path. If you date someone who’s your complete opposite, there’s a good chance you won’t understand each other. My ex was completely different, and I got mad at him all the time because I didn’t understand why he did this and that. We got tired of each other because we fought all the time” I., 31, said.
“In the beginning of a relationship, I think it’s normal. We do have to make some adjustments to get to know each other better. But once the first weeks of passion disappear, if the differences and misunderstandings remain very important, I don’t think this is working” E., 29, said.
“It just means that you don’t live in the same world, and that there’s no chance you can ever live in harmony. If I meet someone who doesn’t understand me from the start, I won’t have the patience to let him decipher me or me decipher him. If it doesn’t work from the beginning, it will never work” U., 35, said.
“It’s impossible to get it right all the time with the person you love. He’s not me. I’m not him. But we need to communicate and explain our feelings if there’s a misunderstanding. But I really think that you have to get along well with someone to hope for a sustainable relationship. If you don’t, there’s no chance it will last” Y., 36, said.
I really believe that with someone who’s compatible with you, this kind of misunderstanding is not a problem.
So, would you date someone who doesn’t understand you at all?