Sometimes, after the first months of a relationship, some couples find it hard to get on a more regular regime. When the passion disappears, and a little routine slowly invades the couple, one of the partners can feel a little bit left out, or lonely. How can this happen? If we put too much hope in a relationship from the beginning, there’s a good chance that the landing will be difficult once the passion vanishes. In the first months of a relationship, generally, we can’t do anything without each other, we can’t breathe, feel, talk,… without the other, but this state is no permanent. When this feeling goes down, we enter a phase when we get to know each other better, but this also means that we start to accept the other as someone else, someone who’s not us. If our significant other starts back having his normal life, where he goes out with his mates, goes to the gym, does his things without you, this is how you can feel all of a sudden lonely. Especially if you’re not independent.
In this transition period, it’s difficult not to compare ourselves with other happy couples. And this can cause us to feel even lonelier. If your companion shows some distance with you at that moment, you will ask yourself if you have made a good choice. Here, some people choose to leave the relationship. Some don’t. For those who don’t, it’s important to try to communicate about our feelings, and see if our partner is really willing to stay with you. And it’s also important that you have some activities on your own.
Recently, I had a chat with one of my coworkers, who’s trapped in a bad relationship with a guy. She’s clearly disappointed, but she can’t leave him. He doesn’t treat her right. I just asked her if she was satisfied, and what could she do to change the situation. She said she didn’t know. But since our conversation, she has started to take poetry class and to go to the gym more often. I just hope her focus on herself will help her to clean her mind. I haven’t had the time yet to ask her how she feels, but I’ve noticed she’s more happy now.
A little bit of independence will never do us any harm…
So, do you find it difficult to be lonely?