broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Say it isn’t so

Is there a good moment to say I love you? In theory, we shouldn’t say those three words too early in a relationship, but not too late either. However, some couples don’t necessarily follow the rules. There are couples who say the three words just a few days after they first met, and are still together. There are also couples who said those words and go belly up just after that. I guess it really depends on a lot of factors. But it’s not because you say I love you to your significant other that he/she will love you back. It’s a bit more complicated than that.

Some people are really spontaneous and can tell right away to the person they meet  that they love them. “I met B. in a bar, and after the evening when we spent our time laughing with each other, we got home to his place. He took every opportunity to touch me during the evening, and I felt so warm and overwhelmed by this feeling that after we had sex, I accidentally told  him the three words. He looked at me very sorry, and I understood it was just a one-night stand. We decided not to see each other again”K., 34. “I knew J. from my cooking lessons. We used to spend  a lot of time together during the lessons, and we started to chat on internet with each other whenever we could. There was nothing between us, except a great friendly bond. Once, I don’t know why, but I ended the chat by saying I love you. He didn’t reply immediately, but after two hours, he got in touch with me, and said he loved me back. We started to date shortly after” M., 35, said. I guess it really depends on the circumstances here.

Then, there are people who are more cautious and wait a while before saying I love you. “For me, these words are sacred. I cannot say it to anybody. I have to be in love. Usually, it takes me weeks to say it” P., 34, said. But it’s not because you wait that you will be guaranteed to be loved back. “I met H. at a party, and I got immediately attracted by him. He was tall, with green eyes and a devastating smile. The day after the party, we started dating, and it quickly turned into a real passion. We couldn’t get enough of each other. We made love as much as we can. But then, after three months, I realized I didn’t tell him how I felt for him. The truth is we didn’t talk that much during this time, and when I told him I loved him, he was shocked. He told me that he couldn’t love me the way I wanted, and ended the relationship” I, 32, said.

People can wait for weeks, months, years before revealing their feelings. It can be the case if you’re secretly in love with one of your friends, or someone who’s already taken.” I waited for years before telling O. about my feelings for him. He was married, and I didn’t want to ruin his marriage. But luckily for me, his marriage didn’t last long. After he got divorced, he came back to me and we started dating. I had waited for that moment since high school. After three weeks spent together, I told him I loved him. And he replied he never stopped loving me since we were teenagers” M., 34, said.

But when do we know it’s the moment to say I love you? When we fall in love, we put our lover to the test.We expect him/her to do this, and that. And if we get disappointed too often, this is when we decide to call it quits. If he/she succeeded, then, we know it’s the moment. It’s as simple as that. But we have to test our lover. I will come back to this topic in another post.

So, when do you know it’s the right time to say I love you?


2 thoughts on “Say it isn’t so

  1. Ellis I. Lee says:

    the only right time to say “i love you” is when it is an echo of your actions… the other person should already know you love them by the deeds you do… because actions will always speak louder than words.

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