Recently, one of my friends had the unpleasant suprise to discover that the man she was pursuing was gay. She told me it wasn’t obvious at all, but yet, she felt like a fool.” I don’t understand. I have many male friends who are gay, and when I met them for the first time, it was quite obvious they were. But here, I only discover it because I went to a bar and I saw him holding and kissing another guy” she said. Honestly, I don’t have a gay radar, so I couldn’t offer her any advice on this. But some of my other friends have their ideas on how to spot if he’s gay.
“It’s in the way he walks, the way he talks, the way he dresses” one said.
“Oh, I would say that if he only seeks male companions, dislikes women, it’s a good sign he’s gay. Plus, if he talks in derogatory terms about homosexuals, there’s a good chance that he’s gay but he doesn’t know it yet”.
“If on a date, he keeps his attention focused not on you, but on every man that comes near, it’s a good indicator”
“If he acts like a woman, understands you more than you, spends more time in the bathroom than you, he might be gay”
“If he spends his time with his girlfriends”
“If he doesn’t touch you”
“If he’s into gay porn, spent his time chatting on gay forums, responds to gay adds, is into anal sex all of the time”
“If everyone suspects he’s gay”
Sometimes, it’s pretty obvious that he’s not into women. But sometimes, it’s not that obvious. Last year, I had some doubts about D., and it turned out I was right. I discover it thanks to Facebook. NB: if you don’t want to come out of the closet, avoid joining some special groups on FB, like for example Abercrombie and Fitch men (yep), or Mister Gay 2009. But in D.’s case, I must admit that it wasn’t obvious. When I met the guy, he tried to flirt with me. I guess it wasn’t clear in his head at that moment. This is how some women can end up married with an homosexual. But it can also happen that you already knew he was gay when you meet him, and still accept to marry him. When we fall in love, we don’t care about our lover’s past. We also don’t care if the relationship will last or not. We just yield to our emotions. This doesn’t mean that our love will last forever. When passion fades, this is when the reality drives back into your life, and the landing can be hard.
So, have you ever felt for a gay?