… Or just don’t give me at all.
At the G8 meeting last week, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy refused to follow the other president’s wives during their tour in Rome, and she also arrived on a separate group so she could avoid meeting Silvio Berlusconi. Apparently, she doesn’t like Il commendatore (and I can understand her). But unfortunately for her, he’s a friend of her husband. So, in this case, she’s a bit forced to be nice with him. At least, she has to, if she doesn’t want to upset her husband.
Unfortunately, when we fall in love, we don’t know if we would get along with the object of our affection’s friends. In the case of Carla, there were some warning signs. She’s close to the Socialist Party in her heart. Her husband is from the opposite Party. Her ideas can only collide with her husband’s friend. She didn’t choose an easy situation by falling in love with Nicolas. But if she wants to make things work between them, she has to adapt, with the risk of losing herself in this relationship. It’s not easy to give up your philosophy like that.
Why is it so important to please your lover’s friends? Well, first, they are his/her best allies. They know him better than you do, simply because sometimes, they’ve known the object of your affection since they were kids, while you came years later in his/her life. Second, if they don’t like you, they can ruin your relationship. Each time you will fight with him/her, his/her friends will take position against you. And if they hate you, they will take the opportunity to advise him/her a break up. And at last, if you don’t like them, you will have to bear their presence each time he/she wants to pay them a visit. So, it’s in your best interest to like his/her friends (at least, some of them) and that the feeling is mutual.
On the other hand, if you don’t like them, they can serve as a good indicator that maybe, the object of your affection isn’t the One. If you absolutely hate all of his/her friends, ask yourself why you love him/her. They’re a part of him/her. It’s a part you have to accept, or not.
But you don’t have to like all of his/her friends. Only those who matter the most. And usually, they boil down to two or three people. This makes the task less daunting. It’s just important to know who are the one swho matter in his/her life.
I’ve asked around me if people matter about their lover’s friends, and most of the time, people answer that they try to be nice with their best friends. Period.
So, do you think it’s important to have his/her friends on your side?