In the movie “Amélie“, Amélie falls in love with a guy she doesn’t have a clue about, but try a little hide and seek game with him until they finally meet for real. There’s a voice in the movie that said “An ordinary girl would have invited the guy for a coffee and see if he’s worth it or not right away, but Amelie is no ordinary girl“. So, I wonder, is it a good idea to get things clear from the start? I do believe so. But yet, if you’re a dreamer and a romantic, it’s difficult to come down to reality right away. However, when it comes to your heart, it’s best to anticipate a really bad damage to it if you hope too much for too long.
There’s something thrilling about fantasizing on someone we don’t know nothing about. In our dreams, he/she could have all the qualities you want. But unfortunately, nobody’s perfect. And the real him/her can be really different from the one you are fantasizing on. One of my friends encountered that experience. A guy she knew very little about had a big crush on her for years, and when she yielded to him, he got hugely disappointed. “If he had dared to know me better from the start, we wouldn’t have got together at all” she said.
A thorough due diligence is also helpful if you want to get someone out of you head. One of my friends had a huge crush on one of her coworkers, and it was torturing her because everytime she had to talk to him, she didn’t know what to say, and felt completely stupid all of the time. Then, once, her company organized a seminar abroad, where some team building activities were planned. She got the opportunity to know her colleague more during that time, and suddenly, all of her fears and hopes about him vanished. “He was such a dork. He couldn’t decide on his own, and had to rely on me everytime. Plus, he was the exact opposite of a gentleman. I was relieved, but also disappointed. He was just ordinary” She said.
The truth is sometimes too hard to handle. But sometimes, it’s for your best interest.
So, do you try to know if it’s worth straight away with your crush?