celibacy, life, love, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, women

Building a mystery


Once, I had a discussion with some of my friends about how friendly we can be with our significant other. Most of my friends prefer when their man is also their best friend, but not all of them. Some of my friends think it’s important to keep a part of mystery in their relationship. For that reason, they consider impossible to blur the line between a best friend and the man of their dream.  They added they don’t want to confide to their man. Their opinion is a bit harsh for me, but they have a point here. I’ve seen many couples ending because they felt more like friends than lovers anymore. So, it is important to keep a part of mystery in order to keep the flame of love alive. But how far can we go in that mystery area? And what if our life collapses suddenly because of illness or the loss of someone very close to our heart? I guess there’s a balance to find in all of this.

I’ve asked around me what people think about the friendship in a couple, and this is how they replied.

“I can’t act in front of my man as I would act with my brother or my roommates under the same roof. For me, this would kill completely the desire I can have for him. So, there’s no way he would see me dressed like shit like I would hang out on lazy sundays. I would try to put my best figure for him. Yet, I do expect him to listen to my problems whenever I have one.”P., 34, said.

“I’m not his best buddy. I can’t tolerate the things his best buddy would tolerate. This is simple as that. I expect him to behave nicely with me. And I don’t see myself treating him as my best friend too. I don’t want to compromise myself in a position that would make me pathetic in front of him. I really fear his desire for me would vanish” B.,30, said.

“I think there is a line between your friend and your man. Of course, I expect him to listen to my problems when I have one. But there’s always that aspect of seduction en plus. With a friend, I won’t act like that” K., 34, said.

So, where do you draw the line between a friend and a lover?

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3 thoughts on “Building a mystery

  1. Ellis I. Lee says:

    i had this discussion recently with someone who is about to get married. she tells me that she has no secrets with her future husband, and i told her that i think it is important not to know everything about each other. i think that would hurt the romance in a relationship. romance needs to be nurtured by the mysteries of the unknown and the sense that the relationship is always in danger of being lost or taken for granted…

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