broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

A pain that I’m used to

Last week, I read that study that has ever since made headlines everywhere on the Internet. If you haven’t heard about it, here’s a reminder: divorces are supposed to be bad for your health, according to scientist Linda Waite.  Really? I do believe it depends on who’s the one left behind in the relationship. The study underlines the stressful situations that can come after a divorce. It may be true. But then again, it depends on who’s the one left behind.

One of my acquaintances recently divorced. His wife left him for her lover. They have four kids to share the custody for. Before his divorce, he was relying heavily on his wife for running the house while he was busy working. All of the time. Each time we paid a visit to them, we could notice how clean and well groomed was their house, their garden,… Now that she’s left, the house is left to itself, and so is the garden. He’s flooded with work, and have a hard time handling the rest of his tasks. He takes the custody of his children one week over two, but can’t keep with the rythm. So, he has cut back a bit his job. He had no choice. And we have never seen him so sad since his divorce.

In his case, I can understand that a divorce can really be bad for your health. But for some people, divorcing is seen as a freedom, as an end of a suffering. You can really be unhappy in your marriage. You don’t have to divorce to suffer and have your heart broken. This can also happen during a marriage, unfortunately. An example? One of my coworkers used to be married to a guy who’s been unfaithful to her, who put in doubt her fidelity all the time, who was possessive, violent, and kept on bringing her down in public. He was also alcoholic. She was the shadow of herself during her marriage. Then, one day, she felt the gut to leave him. He was heavily drinking at the time, and his violent ways were just knocked out because of alcohol. She took the decision for her kids. She was afraid he could hurt them, or just neglect them because he was numb must of the time. Her decision wasn’t easy, but she felt relieved of a heavy weight the day her divorce was pronounced at court. And since this day, she has started to live a normal life again.

Those who divorced because they have found a new love won’t suffer either. If they have a heart failure or something similar, maybe it’s because of their intense sexual activity…

A heart broken is for sure not good for your health. But there are always ways to mend it.

So, do you believe divorcing is bad for your health?




2 thoughts on “A pain that I’m used to

  1. I agree completely with what you have said. I’ve never been divorced – I’m only twenty-two years old anyway, but I’ve just come out of a relationship. I was the one left behind, and I can almost feel my heart aching, and can feel that it’s having a bad effect on my health. I feel so anxious, it seems as though it must be taking days off my lifespan.

    I think it’s the broken heart which is bad for your health, whether it results from the collapse of a marriage or not.

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