celibacy, men, relationships, sex, thoughts, women

Are you romantic?


When I talk about love with my friends, it always boils down to romantism. Most of us cannot conceive love without a bit of romance in it. And when it comes to sex, most of my friends and I admit that we can’t yield to anyone’s advance unless he’s done a proper courtship. A friend of mine recalls that once, during a party, a guy tried to flirt with her, and  managed to pull her out of the room. Outside, he just unbelt his trouser, and let his undies down. He told her to take him. She ran away. “Even if I was drunk, I would have never had done that. It’s just gross. Raw sex, with a guy a barely know, has nothing exciting on me. Who does he think he is?” she said.

When I was in College, I was once invited to a party where my friend’s roommate spent the evening trying to get a hit on me. I just had my heart broken at that time, and cursed on men all of the time. So, I wasn’t in the mood at all for the guy. And he didn’t manage to flirt properly with me. Instead, he spent the whole evening looking at me, and tried several times to tear me in one of the dark corners of the room. I just told him to get lost. Three days later, I bumped on him again at another party, and he tried the same approach with one of my acquaintances. And scored. I just thought to myself: geez. Like my friend, raw sex has nothing exciting on me, with a total stranger.

I guess that my friend and I fall into the category of the romantics.

Why romance is so important for most of us? For women, it’s because we all have the dream to meet an everlasting love. And if this dream may never come true, or just gets lost along the way, at least, we will have those precious moment from the beginning. So, courtship is important. But not especially like in a Danielle Steel novel. Eeewwww.

Most of my friends and I hate when it gets too cliché. For example, if he invites you to dinner and ask the local Mexican band to sing a serenade for you. If you hate to be the center of attention, chances are this won’t do the trick. At least, for one of my friends, it didn’t. She told me she thought the guy was a total loser for doing this. But it depends. If the guy does that to you on your first date, for sure, this sucks. But if you’ve been in a long term relationship, this might make you laugh. And produce an effect on you.

We all agree on one thing: if he does something that does touch your heart, that is considered as romantic. An example?

“He wrote me a song” C., 34, said.

“He invited me to have a walk with him, in his special place. Then we talked for hours about nothing and everything. We ended up caught up in the heavy rain. And we just laughed” N., 35, said.

“He got me the impossible interview no other journalist could have. And I didn’t even ask for it” F., 36, said.

He wrote me letters, sent me flowers, invited me to dinner, told me everything of his little secrets”O., 40, said.

So, are you romantic?

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4 thoughts on “Are you romantic?

  1. I too am a romantic. Sometimes I think it can be hard work – would I feel so much heartache when love goes wrong if I did not cherish it so much when things are going well?

    I wonder, would anyone stumble upon this website, and your well-written articles, if they weren’t a romantic? I suspect that the depths of emotions that you write about here would not strike a chord with readers who are not inclined to reflecting upon the romantic sides of life.

  2. Oh Olly, thanks! To answer your first question, we all suffer a lot when we really love someone. If you don’t suffer when love goes wrong, then, maybe the explanation is that there is no love in that relationship. For your second question, I don’t know. Some of the people who left comments on this blog admitted they were hopeless romantic. For the rest, I don’t know.

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