I was reading recently an article about Heidi Klum and Seal, which described their “perfect” relationship. At the end of the article, there was an interview of a psychologist, that asked: “will he still love her when she won’t be a model anymore? Will they still love each other when their kids will be independent?”. He also said that love is an illusion, and that accepting our significant other as an ordinary man/ woman is part of the process of the maturity of love.
This reminds me of a recent conversation I had with one of my colleagues. He’s a great and respected journalist, yet, he hates when people worship him. Working with him is quite special, because we often discuss with each other about our jobs, the news, … But in the end, we consider each other as normal people, with our family, our every day problems, our conflicts with plumbers, electricians, taxmen, … He’s been married for a long time to his high school sweetheart, and he once told me that she never reads any of his articles. And he’s perfectly fine with this. “This reminds me that I’m just a man, and that being a great journalist doesn’t serve me at all when I’m trying my best to raise our children or fixing one of the problems in the house” he said.
When love urges us to take its guidance, we only see the perfect side of our significant other. There’s a huge part of narcissism in the process of falling in love. Simply because we use our power of seduction. But sooner of later, this illusion will fade away. And all you will have to deal with is your significant other’s personality. The landing can be really hard. This is why breakup can happen after the regular 9 weeks and a half of passion.
We can easily lose ourselves with the sirens of narcissism. We can suddenly fall in love with someone who will mirror a great image of ourselves. It is marvelous when someone you admire accepts to love you back. Take for example, if George Clooney falls in love with you, wouldn’t that be great for your ego? Wouldn’t it great to have his children? But then, when you dust off the glitters, what’s left of George? Reality can be really disappointing. Will he be there when you go through difficult times?
In the end, what matters the most in a relationship? The image that your couple reflect to the world? The true bonds you can develop with an ordinary person, just like you and everybody else? Some people will choose the first option. Personally, I ‘ve picked the second one. What would you choose?