broken heart, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Toy soldiers

When the world goes crazy as today, with mad traders, economic downturn, pandemy like the H1N1 and wars, some sociologists have noticed that people tend to go back to their childhood. How? Look at the offer in the media and the entertainment industry. Currently, singers like Mika are the biggest selling artists and movies like Wall-E are acclaimed by adults. Recently, I had a strange conversation with one of my professional contacts about this. He said that in this ever changing world, he needs stable marks. He felt the urge to go back to his familial house in the South of France, and to go hiking alone, like he would do when he was younger. But I was surprised to notice that, during the whole conversation, he didn’t mention once his wife, as if she wasn’t included in the picture. When I asked him if Madam would follow, he shrugged, and refused to answer. That silence was telling it all, I thought.

Does it means that when we try to focus on our marks, or when we try to comfort ourselves, we tend to leave behind the one we love? When I think about it, when I was a child, I didn’t have the same relationships, bonds, … I have now with my friends. Back then, I wasn’t faithful at all. One day, H. would be my BFF, the next, I would decide that she sucks and choose J. as my BFF, and the turnover was heavy. It was the time of lightness, carelessness.  I don’t think I could ever go back to that. When I asked my friends about this, they replied they could never act as children  like that. “I can buy candies, but I can’t pretend to be sick to avoid my job, because I know the aftermath of such a decision. When I was a kid, and didn’t want to go to school, I would have used this trick. But now, I know I couldn’t. And no, I could never leave behind the one I love, just because I want to comfort myself” one of my friends said. “I can understand the need to feel alone sometimes to refocus on ourselves. I can’t involve the one I love in this process. This is a road I have to go down alone. But this won’t mean that at the end of the journey, I won’t share it with my significant other. It’s simply that I don’t want to annoy him with my little problems” another said. “Well, I can’t go back into my childhood just like that. I can see the little girl I was back then, but I can also act as an adult toward her, do you  understand? In this process, I could never involve the one I love. I just want his support after that strange inner dialogue” another said.

So, do you sometimes need to be alone?


4 thoughts on “Toy soldiers

  1. Ellis I. Lee says:

    the other day my friend told me that he is giving up on people and relationships. he came to this decision after being hurt too many times by people he thought he could love and trust. so he is planning to go back into the military and live a life that is more regimented and structured with less random relationships with other people. like your contact, i think my friend is looking for more stability in his life.

    some people find this stability in their childhood, others in their religion, and still others in entertainment (whether books or television or movies or music).

    but for me i think that being alone with my thoughts is the best way for me to find that stability. for myself, solitude away from others and the rest of the world is the best way to help remind me of just who i am are and what i believe in…

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