Once a cheater, always a cheater? According to some psychologists, no. I was reading a magazine where it said that unfaithful men can become faithful to their second, third or fourth wife if they grow up. Basically, infidelity is a question of maturity. I’m not sure at all this can solve everything. But one of my friends, who had experienced the bitter situation of getting divorced because of a cheating husband, doesn’t agree with me. Because her husband has remained faithful to his next wife, so far. He admitted it to her and apologized for hurting her so much. My friend is still not over him, and she’s devastated by this confession. I told her that he may be faithful now, but sooner or later, the devil will come back. I understand it’s difficult for her to let it go. In such situation, you always wonder what you have done to deserve this.
My friend admits though she doesn’t recognize her ex anymore. He seems changed. He wouldn’t lose his temper like before. He’s also more patient than before. So, maybe his new wife has helped him to be more mature. Some people can have a good influence on us in helping us being a better person. It’s not given to everyone with everyone. It’s called soul mating. Maybe her ex has found his. For my friend, this would mean she wasn’t his, but he wasn’t hers either. Someday, she will find someone who will better suit her, I’m sure of it. Her marriage was doomed from the start. They couldn’t stop fighting. Mostly because he wasn’t faithful. But also, they didn’t understand each other that much. Sometimes, people marry for the wrong reasons.
Another friend of mine has gone through a very difficult relationship too, where her man cheated on her several times. But unlike my other friend, she’s convinced her ex will never change. Simply because he’s reproducing the exact same mistakes with his new lady. She doesn’t believe he could ever be faithful. For her, some men are simply unable to remain faithful to one woman. It’s in their genes, she said. “Seducing as many women as they can is a competition. It proves their superiority. They need to dominate, it’s like that” she says.
Maybe she’s right. Some of us are in a logic of competition, and never depart from that. I guess some people can become faithful after cheating, and some people can become unfaithful after staying faithful for years. Some people never stay faithful too. And some people always stay faithful.
Do you think it’s possible to change completely for love?