When I was in College, I had a classmate who dated the most difficult shrew on this planet. We all wondered why he stayed with her, because she was so mean with him. Once, I had the opportunity to ask him why, and he explained that she wasn’t like that at the beginning of their relationship. She became like that because she got into a huge argument with her parents. And he told me it was really difficult for her. He did her best to help her, but she took it wrong all the time. I told him that she didn’t have the right to insult him in front of everyone, to humiliate him in public (I also thought she would do that in private) and to give him nothing but a frown of all the time. Eventually, he left her. Their relationship lasted three years. He told me he was about to cheat on her. He preferred to call it quits before committing such a mistake.
Some people don’t have that dilemma. Years later, when I was a banker, I received in my office a woman who cheated on her husband. She said he didn’t know about it, and did everything to hide this from him. She said she didn’t want to do this, but when her lover came into her life, it was like a rebirth for her. “My husband was working all of the time. We barely saw each other. And when he got home, he was too tired to be nice with me. I felt completely invisible. When T. came into my life, I did nothing to provoke him. But the way he looked at me made me beautiful. And he had a way to get interested in what I did. I just yielded. It was a long time ago that I didn’t feel that way” she explained.
Without any sign of affection, it’s hard not to feel left out in a relationship. We all need affection and love. When we don’t have it, we tend to search it elsewhere. Some of us will transmit this to an animal, some other will seek for some human warm with lovers.
This is one road to unfaithfulness. But it’s not the only one. When you’re in a relationship, and about to cheat on your partner, communicating with him/her can prevent you from committing a mistake. Sometimes.
So, what would you do without love?