celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

Hands down


One of my friends always takes a good notice of men’s hands. She said she can easily be turned off by a man who hasn’t got great hands, no matter how handsome he is. I often asked her (she’s still single) if she wouldn’t reconsider her choice, because I’m convinced she’s letting the good guys running away from her. But I’ve noticed that for a reason, we all focus on some silly details on others, and base our decision if we like him/her or not only on that criteria. This is completely shallow, but most of us will choose to hang with others based on stupid details. I remember when I went to my financial lessons last year that I only hung out with a group of people, but not the others. Why? I couldn’t explain. I was naturally drawn  by their conversation. The guys weren’t particularly handsome, but they were fun and kind, and we always had a good laugh during the breaks. I also can’t explain why I get along with some of my professional contacts, and I do appreciate calling them for an advice or interviewing them, while other just leave me cold.

I already mentioned in a previous post that we tend to pick our friends or lovers because of the image they reflect of us. But this doesn’t explain everything. Especially for the hands. I guess our personal fears interfere too in the way we pick the others. Some people can really scare you just by the look in their eye. But some can see beyond that. I remember when I saw B. for the first time, I wasn’t scared at all. A lot of people fear him, or just thinks he’s nuts. Well, he’s a little bit nuts, but for a reason, I do understand him.  Our judgment can also be wrong. I used to hate one of my friends when we were younger. Back then, we were competing for the same guy. None of us got what she wanted. This is how we became friends. If she wasn’t interested in him, maybe I would have never noticed her. Maybe she would have never noticed me. Who knows?

There’s a lot of randomness in our encounters. But sometimes, randomness can be good.

For instance, Ellis, how did you end up on my blog? 😉

So, how do you explain you like someone, or not?

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5 thoughts on “Hands down

  1. Ellis I. Lee says:

    i remember… how could i forget? my friend tarik (@hoboarchitect) and i used to blog together on “drunken dialogue” where all we blogged about was relationship and sex. and somehow through that i found your blog!

    i have actually been thinking a lot about your question because i am friends with marines who share so many differences with me in terms of race, age, education, profession, etc., that others would look at us and might have a hard time believing that we are close friends, but we get along so well with each other.

    i think the bottom line is a simple acceptance of the other person and being able to trust their motives in life. there are other marines i know and don’t get along with so well because i don’t trust their motives. and the funny thing is that i have so few korean friends because most koreans i know only care about educational or economic success… they tend to focus on having prestige and status in life, and i have a hard time accepting that because i think there has to be more to life.

    it is hard to predict what will happen in our lives, but it is nice to make the most of those random encounters that make life a little more interesting and enjoyable. i guess that is the bottom line of why i like someone: they make life a little more interesting and enjoyable… just like you and your blog!

  2. i think people believe in small things. in fact small things tell them about people. small things that people can’t hide. a smile that isn’t sincere enough, smirking when people not looking at you or a pair of hand. a pair of hand perhaps could tell you bout things, which i dunno what it is but it seems comforting to them as they appears weird to you.

    i have a friend who fell in love with a guy just by looking at their hairs. how crazy is that?

    but i believe that we find our own way to justify things. we spend money like nobody business and we could just say we’re under tremendous stress and need to de-stress ourselves with retail therapy or you’re just dying to own that item which make you spend a fortune for it. people could say that they saving up money for old days while they just too stingy to spend money especially on people who doesn’t appreciate them. see….people just know how to maneuver things around them to make it justifiable. if that’s doesn’t work…you could just say “I dunno but something just absolutely wrong with him”. well, still justifiable if you ask me but whether their reason and justification acceptable to our eyes, it’s only us to judge.

    and as much as we could accept things from our friends or our family, meeting with strangers pretty much guided by what we have experience and how much that experience going to tell us about people. how their voice and choice of words could attract us to befriend with them, or how their body language give a “tell” how sincere they’re, we judge people as much as we could.

    er…i just writing nonsense again but i guess you got my point. 🙂

  3. Ellis, I also like people who make life a little more interesting and enjoyable. It’s called charisma. This is probably why I ended on your blog too. Thank you!

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