When you ask yourself too many questions about the state of your relationship, or even the nature of the bond you have with one of your acquaintances, maybe it’s a sign you should take your distance right now with him or her. There are always signs he/she’s not into you, and the first warning signal should be that he/she doesn’t want to spend time with you/ have little time for you. But sometimes, this isn’t as obvious as it seems. Recently, a friend of mine told me she was quite puzzled about her man, because he would be sweet and caring etc with her one day, and distant/cold the next one.
And even with your friends, you can ask sometimes questions about your friendship. I remember how B. and I became friends two years ago, against all odds. I thought he was manipulating me. He thought the same. Then, came my seminar in Rome. The three lecturers gave in succession to the audience a very gloomy picture of the world in the nearest future. It was all about wars, food shortage, diseases, … After the conference, we all went to dinner in a prestigious place called the Villa Marni, where we could have a great view of the city and the Vatican. Everyone seemed downcast. Some were drinking heavily. My table neighbours remained silent during the dinner, except when they had to apologize to answer their phone. And I didn’t know why, but I felt the urge to call B. and tell him about this. He was suprised, of course. But he understood I just needed his mere opinion, without any calculation. This is how we started our friendship. Since then, some tensions, misunderstandings, betrayals have come into the equation. And we make everything ambiguous, without purpose. Last week, I called him just to thank him for mentioning me in his presentation, and he replied that he’s never met such a great journalist and that he was infatuated with my articles. I just thanked him. Period. Another time, he called me, and apologized he had to ring back because he was receiving someone very important (an ambassador, he explained). He called me back, and said: “I’m all yours”. And quickly reajusted his sentence, saying he was joking. I have a lot of male friends who don’t hesitate to tell me that, without making it ambiguous. Two months ago, he resigned from his job, and I was the last to know about it (my coworkers sent me an SMS to warn me about it). He apologized the next morning for that. Three months ago, I had to write an article about him, and in the middle of the meeting, he shrugged, and asked me why the hell I was bothering to write something about it. My friends asked me repeatidly if there ‘s something going on between him and I, but there’s nothing, except he’s a bit nuts. One of his coworkers asked me the same question, and when I replied to her that you never know how he will react, she laughed and agreed with me. I just consider him as a friend. A very odd one.
So, do you ask yourself sometimes questions about your lover or your friends?