broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Let her down easy

In every relationship, tensions can raise just like that because we don’t fulfill our partner’s need. To avoid such a situation, we should make a clear demand from the start and not suggest anything. But that’s not enough. Breaking a promise for example can lead to arguments. But there are a lot of examples where disappointment is just around the corner. I’ve asked around me what is the most disappointing thing people can experience with their lover, and people replied in general that it has a lot to do with our deceived expectations. But sometimes, this has also a lot to do with disrespect.

“I will be disappointed  if he doesn’t treat me the right way. If he doesn’t treat me with respect, doesn’t talk to me very kindly, ignores me completely when we are at a party, forgets to wish me a happy birthday,… that would make me sad”U., 34, said.

My ex was never there when I needed him the most. He was too busy working. And was often abroad for his job. When I lost my mom, I could only talk to him briefly between two of his important meetings. I spent most of my time crying with my friends, but he wasn’t there to support me. He was also noticeably absent from my mom’s funeral. I had the feeling I only came second after his precious job. I got hospitalized six months after my mom’s death, and he wasn’t there, of course. I decided to call it quits and find someone who will be there for me, even if his job is very taking“Y.,36, said.

He would never listen to me, never value what I say. Never ask my opinion. I felt completely useless” E., 35, said.

“He was all talks, but no action. He would promise me everything, but never give me anything. Everytime he said he would take me to the restaurant or to the movies, he always came with an  excuse at the last minute saying we would do this on another time. It was the same story with flowers, concerts, travels,… He would forget about it or find an excuse to avoid it” P., 32, said.

“My ex would never let me talk during dinners with his friends or family and if I tried to do so, he would systematically make fun of what I said. Oh, and he didn’t like at all when I spoke to him. He said I was talking too much” M., 31, said.

“I will be disappointed if he doesn’t show he cares about me. That includes defending me when I’m in trouble, or not replying immediately to my call, even if it’s just to say that he can’t take my call. Oh, and I don’t appreciate when he lets me pay at the restaurant or don’t hold the door for me” G., 30, said.

If he lets me do all the works. I won’t appreciate if he doesn’t take part to the education of our children, doesn’t help me at all with the household chores and the family duties” C., 35, said.

If he doesn’t pick me at the airport or train station when it’s possible. My ex would have never done that, despite the fact he was unemployed at the time. Once, I had to arrive very late, and there was a taxi strike. Impossible to get home. I had to call my parents to come and fetch me. He didn’t reply to my call, and was quietly asleep. He told me he didn’t hear my call” S., 29, said.

The list can be never-ending. But when those disappointments are too frequent and numerous, maybe it should serve as a warning signal he/she’s not that into you.

So, what would disappoint you the most? And what do you appreciate the most?


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