broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, thoughts, women

Come as you are

At the beginning of the novel “Journey to the end of the night“, the author, Celine, dedicated it to Elizabeth Craig. She was the love of his life, but she left him abruptly to move to the United States to marry another man. The reason behind her decision was she feared that if she lost her beauty with age, she would end up meaning nothing to him. She was 31 when she disappeared.

This happened in the previous century, where men and women weren’t consider as equal at all. Yet, nowadays, this situation still exist.

Her fear might be legitimate. Love is such an irrational feeling, but also so fragile, that it is impossible to swear you will remain with your lover until death do you parts. But that’s the risk associated with falling in love, and when we fall in love, we accept it. We all fear our lover would go away. If it wasn’t the case, this would simply mean we don’t love him. But for some people, this fear overcomes the rest, and lead to strange behaviors. Some women imagine that if they get fat, their lover wouldn’t love them as they are now. So they try their possible not to eat too much. And end up eating just two grapes a day. Yep. Some others multiply surgeries only to stay young, even if the result doesn’t look so great. Look at Nicole Kidman. Botox has granted her a severe look, and she looks not human at all. That’s my opinion.

If we want to take that logic far, looks isn’ t the only thing that kills the romance. Beauty will fade away, and the mystery you have can also disappear because it’s just unsustainable on the long term. The process of maturity of love is there to take away all this drama, but some of us don’t accept this transition.

I’ve asked around me what people would do if they feared their lover’s desire is wasting away, and this is their reply.

Nothing. If he wants to go away, then I won’t stop him. I don’t want to be pathetic trying to win back his love” P., 34, said.

“Why would he lose his desire? “asked I., 35.

I would kill him. No, seriously, I do try to watch myself and not letting myself go. That’s enough, I think” O.,40, said.

If he’s worth it, I will try my best to retain him. But I guess that if he isn’t satisfied with me, then he’s not worth it M., 36, said.

Our lover doesn’t belong to us. And besides, love wouldn’t so exciting if there wasn’t that part of risk associated to it, isn’t it?

So, would you leave if you know you will lose his/her love?


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