broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Further down the spiral

I was reading this morning a synopsis of Open, the controverted autobiography of Andre Agassi. When he was married to Brooke Shield, his career tanked as much as her career stood still. Their career (and their life) took off again when they separated. It’s incredible how a bad relationship can completely ruin your professional, but also private life when you pick the wrong partner. And it’s also curious that this downward spiral attracts both partners in the doomed couple. One of my friends experienced this with her ex-husband. When they were married, they couldn’t help arguing all the time. As a result, she became very dark and antisocial. She didn’t want to go out, and him neither. She was constantly angry and fed up, she lost completely any motivation for work, but also for her friends. She wasn’t kind with us during her marriage. And apparently, her husband was also a pain in the ass with his mates. When they divorced, she realised how much she had lost herself in that relationship, and she slowly started to get back to her life. She became more friendly. She left her job to start a new one and she’s very at it right now. For her ex, he’s been also climbing the slope. Divorcing was probably the best decision they could take together. Curiously, they even managed to become friends. And they don’t yell at each other like when they were married.

Another friend of mine, who’s a photographer, experienced the same destroying relationship. Her career went down when she was dating her ex. She got refused from many exhibitions, because her work wasn’t satisfying enough. Her ex, a comedian, did nothing good when he was with her too. She was sad, moody, and unmotivated all of the time. He was also the shadow of himself. I don’t know if the perspective of losing her job came into a warning signal for her, but she decided to call it quits with him and jumped back into her career. She’s now back on track. And her ex has landed many roles in theaters, he’s becoming successful.

I do believe there are people who are good to us, who raise us up, and people who are bad to us. A good sign of that is if you smile or not when you’re in a relationship. A friend of mine  says that if you are always frowning on your pictures when you’re with your significant other, then it’s a sign your relationship isn’t doing you any good. Maybe she’s right. A relationship isn’t a temple where you argue all of the time, or spend your time crying, ruminating your feeling, … A good relationship helps you to grow up, to blossom. Besides, love makes life much more enjoyable, at least it should. If not, maybe this isn’t love. It’s something else.

So, do you smile a lot when you’re in love?


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