broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, thoughts, women

Such a shame

When I was in highschool, one of my classmates was often picked up after school by his dad. His father was an undertaker, and used to fetch his son with his hearse. Of course, everyone at school made fun of him because of that. And I thought it was such a humiliation for him, because he had no choice and it wasn’t his fault at all. Life can be cruel.

In love too, we can endure some painful humiliations. If we believe Ian Harpeling, the journalist who wrote the controversial book about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston had it too. She had two miscarriages, and was left for Angelina Jolie who not only gave birth to three children, but also spread false rumors about her, saying Brad left her because she didn’t want kids. Plus, I can only imagine how painful it must be for her to see her ex parading with his children in magazines. And God knows how many pictures of them there are today. Like my former classmate, I can only think that it wasn’t Jennifer’s fault, and that she had no choice.

Humiliation is horrible. It takes years to forget about it, and sometimes, we also need professional help to get over it. I know my former classmate had to see a therapist. He had zero confidence in himself when he was young, because of his father.

I met once a woman who told me her worst humiliation was her wedding. The D-Day, she was walking down the aisle, but she didn’t see her future husband waiting for her. Everyone was looking for him, but he just vanished. She stayed in front of everyone for a moment, seeing all of the sorry eyes pointing at her, and couldn’t help crying. Her ex didn’t even bother to call her the days after. But she knew he wasn’t dead. One of her friends saw him hanging around with his mates three days later in a bar. She told me the worst thing was he completely ignored her, denying her any form of respect. “I felt like a piece of trash you just get rid of. Nothing is more humiliating. I would have accepted he told me he couldn’t marry me, rather than letting me down like that” she said.  She told me she had a hard time trusting people after this, but also felt she wasn’t worth it at all. This completely ruined her self-esteem. It took her years to get over it.

A break up is a painful experience in itself. If you add to that humiliation, it can really destroy you. Usually, years later, whenever you endure a painful experience, you can live again your past humiliation. When you feel fingers pointing at you, it’s just a reminder of a situation you’ve already experienced. The only way to get out of this cycle is to recognize your problem, hear the voice inside of you that tells you everything’s gonna be all right, and forgive. It’s the only way to move on. It can be difficult doing this on your own. Remember friends, family, therapists, are all there to help you, if you ask for their help.

So, what do you consider as humiliation?