Recently, I had a lunch with one of my coworkers, who told me she didn’t know what to do with her boyfriend. They’ve been together for five years, and the last two years, he left our country because he was offered a job in Qatar. My colleague didn’t follow him, because she didn’t find any decent job for her there, and she didn’t want to spend her days waiting for him to come back from work alone in their house. Her man is now considering an MBA, and wants to leave Qatar for New York where he would do his studies. That would mean my colleague would have to support him financially during two years. And she’s not keen to leave our country to go to the US, because she doesn’t know if she could work as a journalist there. I asked her if her man wouldn’t consider going back home, but she said no. And I also asked her if she was happy in her couple. She replied negatively.
She did try to talk about this with him, but in the end, it’s always him who has the last word. He told her that if she wanted to leave, she would have a hard time finding someone else, because she was old (she’s 28!). She’s beautiful, with amazing blue eyes. I really doubt she would have a hard time finding someone else. Someone who would treat her better than her man, who’s the douchiest of the douches. And he makes it difficult for her to leave by culpabilizing her. That’s nasty and emotionnally abusive.
Some people hesitate to leave their partner/lover if it isn’t working. My coworker hesitates. But sooner or later, her situation would become unbearable and she won’t have the choice anymore. If we hesitate, most of the time, it’s because we don’t know if we ever find true love again. In the case of my coworker, it’s because she’s manipulated by her man. Luckily for her, she’s not living with him. But I can only imagine how things can turn wrong if she does so.
But what is worst? Staying with someone who’s abusing you or being alone? Loneliness has some advantages, and it doesn’t leave you with mental issues like a bad relationship. I do believe that love happens, at any age. Recently, one of my mom’s friends, who’s 56, presented her her man. Her new man. Since I know her, she has always stayed single. But now, things have changed. Her man is a widow, and he follows her everywhere. She has never looked so happy. And she’s 56.
My cousin, who’s 35, is about to get married for the third time. She had the courage to leave her exs before it would destroy her completely. And I’ve never seen her so radiant since she met her new man.
No one is irreplaceable. And if someone is telling you so, then, it’s not the right person.
So, do you know when it’s time to leave behind a bad relationship?