As we walked into the new year, one of my friends said it was time to evaluate those who will stay with her among her friends and acquaintances, and those who won’t. And she added that the best way to do so, was to consider what the other brings her, or not. I realised she wasn’t the only one to think that way. The first lunches I had this year with other friends and coworkers all boil down to this new beginning. Because let’s be honest, when we try to sort a little bit our life, it’s a sign we want to take a new start, or a new direction in our life.
But sometimes, it is hard to get rid of the people who bring you nothing but trouble. Because we always find a good excuse not to do so. There is a little bit of manipulation sometimes. Sometimes, it’s just us who can’t let it go.
In the first example, if we find it difficult to take a different path than the one who’s poisoning us.“I had a really hard time telling to my ex I wanted to call it quits. He disappointed me all of the time by promising me everything, but never kept his words. I told him numerous times I was fed up with all his promises, but he kept on apologizing and promising me even more. I felt guilty, spoiled afterwards. And forgave him. Eventually, he left me for another woman” T., 34, said. It’s easy to get fooled like this, though. Most of the time, we all want to hear what we want to hear. Look at politicians. Why do you think we elect them? And of course, we are disappointed afterwards when they get elected. Because they can’t fulfill all their promises. And even if they want to do so, they face opposition, political or not. If they want to get reelected, they can’t take dramatic measures. For instance, if they want to reduce their country debt, they would have to raise the taxes. But taxes are unpopular. So, politicians try everything to avoid this. But they only make it worse for the next generation. In my country, we’re still paying the price today of a huge debt collected in the 70s.
But if someone is all talks, no action, it should be a warning signal for you. A person who really cares about you shows it, and doesn’t need words necessarily to do so. An example? “my beloved purse was broken, but I couldn’t repair it because I didn’t have anytime. It just let me down one day, and I was very sad about that. I threw it in the garbage. But two weeks later, my purse was standing in my sofa. My man took it to a leatherman who fix it without any problem”O.,35, said.
For the second problem, it’s the case of codependence. It’s giving to someone something he/she didn’t ask for and who is unable to respond to it. Here, exterior help can be really precious to realise you have no future in this relationship.
Taking a new start in your life sometimes asks for help. So, don’t hesitate to talk to your friends about it. Or seek professional help.
So, did you make resolutions for the new year?