Recently, I had a strange conversation with one of my professional acquaintances. Instead of asking me how I was, he asked for my opinion on his successor at the helm of his previous company. He left because he had enough of the mad organization there, but only stayed during two years. I replied his successor was doing the best he could, in an environment of unfair competition. My intuition told me not to add more, and to switch to another subject. I just asked him how he was to change the topic. And he replied he was soooo happy in his new company, blabla. When he hung up, I thought to myself: gosh, is it jealousy, or what?
The thing is his successor is doing a fair job with his company. He has been working there for twenty years, and knows everything about the business. My acquaintance came from a whole different background, and his beginning was… clumsy. During the two years he spent there, he took a lot of drastic measures to diversify the revenues of the company. Those were necessary. But some of those were a bit weird. The new boss takes more logical decisions. And listens to every advice coming from his sector. My acquaintance once told me these were BS.
I guess everyone made the comparison between the two. And has come to the same conclusion than me: even if the company is severely wounded because of competition, it is in better hand with the new CEO. Knowing him, he’s probably too concentrated and busy on his job to think about it and brag about it. On the other hand, my acquaintance can’t stand this comparison. He already had a hard time standing the numerous critics he encountered when he left.
Ego, ego… Unfortunately, in love too, those comparison can happen. One of my friends dated for three years a woman we all hated. And when he eventually left her, we all told him how happy we were for him, and that he deserved better. Six months later, he found another woman, much nicer than his ex. When she learned about it, his ex wasn’t pleased at all. Everyone told my friend how cute was his couple with his new lady. When he was with his ex, nobody made that remark. She was jealous, and started to spread false rumors about my friend’s date. This provoked a lot of tensions in his couple. Until he decided to confront his ex and tell her to move on with her life. He didn’t shout at her, but apologized for the breakup and told her she deserved better than him. This probably calmed her down, because tensions eased suddenly after that.
Breakups are a delicate period. It can be highly traumatic for the one who gets dumped. And if the other treats you like shit, for sure, it’s not good at all for your ego. Bashing the new conquest of your ex can be therapeutic for some time. It can help you to move on. But if you’re still bashing her/him after ten years, maybe there’s a problem.
Besides, it’s not very delicate of your ex if he/she starts to shout out loud how better he/she is with his/her new conquest. Especially if you waisted spent a few years with him/her. But it depends on who left who, and how. If he/she dumped you like trash, I think it is legitimate to bash this douche. If you were the one who left, and not in the nicest manner, you should expect to be treated like that. It’s only fair. Yet, we all know we should move on with our live. We shouldn’t spend too much time for someone who obviously didn’t deserve us.
So, do you think it’s important to keep good contact with your ex?