broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Your number one

When I was in College, there was a girl who always came first in our promotion. And she had an affair with one of our professors, the one who was very elitist with his students. If you weren’t in the top grade of his exam, he wouldn’t talk to you in other ways than in derogaroty terms. The best students were granted his kindness, and he only talked to them during the pauses. Of course, he was very hated. And my classmate was too. She got an A+ for her exam with him. And she was the only student who only got such a grade with him. So, we all concluded that she got her grade thanks to her affair with him. Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t wise enough to shut her mouth about it. If no one knew, we would have only concluded she was clever. Period.

Later, when we started our career as journalists, I learned she slept with the chief editor of her media. The guy has the same charachter than my old teacher: elitist, arrogant, and very hard to work with. Few journalists managed to stay in his media, because he’s such a pain in the ass. And also because he didn’t hesitate to fire the journalists not good enough for him. Of course, my ex-classmate is a great journalist. But again, if her affair with her boss was kept secret, no one would have put her professionalism in doubt.

All the journalists I know calls her arrivist. But I think she may have her reasons behind her attitude. When you were trained to be the best in what you do since you were little, chances are you will reproduce this scheme over and over again in the future. My ex-classmate  isn’t the only one in my profession to react like that. When you think about it, this profession is like you were permanently studying at college. The contacts you can have often teach in university. And they treat you like their students. So, we can reproduce this strange bond over and over again. But this quest also shows how insecure we can be. Creating such a bond like my ex-classmate with her boss and her teacher isn’t healthy. It’s only based on a narcissistic recognition, that can break into pieces when someone else takes your place in the heart of your boss/ teacher. In the case of my ex-classmate, I know her parents got divorced when she was 5, and she always tried to be first in class so his dad would be proud of her. It was the only way for her to exist to his eyes, because he moved away in another town to start a new family with his new wife, and wasn’t that much available for my classmate. I guess she’s only repeating the same pattern with her boss, and her ex-teacher. But I can’t help wondering if she’ s happy that way.

So, did you ever fall in love with your teacher/boss? 


3 thoughts on “Your number one

  1. This is just so sad. I mean, I can relate. I had a classmate in high school who was exactly like that. I don’t know where or how she is now but I heard she is still sleeping her way to the top. 😦

  2. I have to say I always get little crushes on my professors even if they’re gay. As long as they’re brilliant, I’m always a little in awe of them. But I’ve never been in love with one. I did, however, had a troublesome relationship with a professor/mentor. Even after college, I would drop by and hang out at school and I guess he got attached to me. I was oblivious at first but as time passed he became more affectionate. I decided to stop visiting him. I feel sad about it, though.

  3. Hi Summer, like you, I couldn’t feel anything else than sadness for my classmate.
    Liz, I also have a thing for brilliant men. Those mentor/ student relationships are special, but I think you did the right thing stopping visiting him.

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