broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

Bad romance

Do we have to suffer when we are in love? Some people think so. Psychologists will tell you the contrary. If a relationship is based on pain and mental anguish, there’s a good chance it’s ill-fated. But we all have to experience this to realize we’re on the wrong way. It’s part of the process of growing up. When you ask people if they have ever been in a tumultuous relationship, most of them will answer yes. But most of them consider this as an experience from the past, and know they won’t get fooled again like that. At least, they hope so. It’s very easy to repeat the same mistake over and over again if we don’t know ourselves that much and if we didn’t learn at all from our past relationships.  Sometimes, it takes years to realize we’re on the wrong way with love. Sometimes, we fall back into that trap after a strong relationship.

C., 40, have only experienced bad relationships so far. The father of her two girls is no exception to the long list of twisted lovers she had. “They were all crazy. But never with the same craziness. One of them has to be hospitalized because he was a schizo. The others were not that crazy, but they were strange. One of them would disappear for two weeks and then came back without saying a word, and it just drove me mad all of the time. There was one who was in a cult and wanted me to join in. There was another one who had nightmares all of the time, and screamed in the middle of the night because of that. Not to mention that during the day, he just looked like a zombie. There was also this guy who was a bit too much paranoid,…” she said. The current one, well, is a bit aggressive, and doesn’t talk to people in general.  People don’t want to talk to him either, because he’s a bit scary.All of her relationships started the same way: on its wheels.

P., 36, had also her lot of bad relationships that started on its wheels too, until she met her husband. “It didn’t started the same way than with my ex’s. He wouldn’t promise me the moon or something like that. He’s just there when I need him. He doesn’t make a fuss about anything, knows how to please me, and confronts me when I don’t agree with him. He’s not a coward. That’s a huge change” she said. “When I met him, I thought it wouldn’t work because he wasn’t that special. But it turns out he was the right one”she added.

L., 40, met also a great guy, but blew it away when she cheated on him with a guy we couldn’t exactly  call a prince charming.”He was a rebel without a cause, but I fell in love with him despite being in a relationship with the most adorable man on earth. I don’t know why I did this. This is so stupid” she said.

One of my friends say it’s important to list the things we expect in a man/woman in advance, and stick to it. Maybe she’s right.

So, have you ever experienced a bad romance?


5 thoughts on “Bad romance

  1. I’ve not been in a terrible relationship. I’ve been in ones where I could have been treated a little better.

    Nonetheless, I have to agree with L’s analysis of her own behaviour. It does sound stupid. Really, really stupid.

  2. I’ve been in many terrible relationships, modobs. But I’ve learned from all of them so I don’t regret any of them. All that pain would be for naught if the cycle never stopped. In my opinion, that would mean I haven’t learned the lesson yet.

  3. That’s one heck of a colossal mistake from L though. You often only get one chance at these kinds of things, and betraying someone is a reasonable indication that you don’t deserve a whole heap of new chances.

    How many times do people have to see the harm that cheating causes to convince them it isn’t an acceptable way to act?

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