broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Playing by the rules


Recently, we discussed with some of my female friends about “the rules”. Because let’s face it, we all have set some rules regarding dating. Our experience taught us about these. For instance, sleeping on the first night. If we don’t want to see the guy after, or just want to have sex with him, this rule doesn’t count. Yet, there are exceptions.  We all know women who slept on the first night and are married to the man.

Another one would be not making the first move. Of course, we all know exception to this. One of my friends had to make the first move because her then future husband was too shy to try anything with her. But in general, this is a good rule. Because it helps you to sort the pretendant. Most of my friends don’t do this. They did try in the past, but the results were really disappointing. So, they decided to let the man come to them.

Then, there’s the phone call/SMS/ email. The trickiest part. Of course, if he doesn’t call, this just means he’s not interested. But we all agree that we shouldn’t let him call and not respond to him until the third times. As the rules mention it. One of my friends thinks it’s just cruel. And I do agree with her. Unless you want to take your revenge on the guy, don’t do this. We all believe this could discourage him from calling you. But we all agree he has to call after our date.

All in all, I do believe that we don’t choose our partner by pure randomness. Therefore, we should listen to our emotions rather than simply follow these rules. When I ask my friends if they felt something for the guy who didn’t call them afterwards, most of them admit they didn’t like him. But it’s tough to get rejected, even by  a guy we didn’t like, isn’t it?

Of course, you can get fooled by a man. There are allergic to commitment, intimacy,… But generally, they come with a warning signal. Some even told you directly they’re not good for you. If you don’t listen to that, you should ask yourself why.

Some men do change. They can become faithful, mature,… if they find the right person. This doesn’t mean you’re the right one, unfortunately. You have a tiny chance to be this person. Just listen to the signs he’s giving you. Remember that a relationship is based on two people. If love is only one-sided, it’s doomed.

Friends and family are a precious help if you don’t see clearly in your emotions. I know, it is difficult to listen to them. But it’s important to share with them what ‘s wrong with your partner. They have a better ability to see what ‘s wrong than you. Simply because we often see clearly what the other don’t see in their life.

So, if there are any rules, these would be: follow your emotions, and respect yourself.

What are your rules for dating?

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