broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The mess I made

Leaving a loveless relationship seems to be easy. But when you spent years with your ex, it can still be difficult. Even if you know you took the right decision to leave.

Life is too short to have regrets. Yet, we’re neither heartless nor without memories, and we can’t erase like that years of relationship that made up who we are now.  This is why some people take months to really make the separation in their head, even if they were the one who left the relationship.

Guilt plays an important part in our hesitation. When it’s over, we can’t help wondering if things would have been different if we have said this or reacted like that instead of letting our relationship destroy itself. But the past is the past, and we can’t rewind time. This can only serve as a lesson for us, a lesson that teaches us who we are, and what we shouldn’t do anymore.

Our level of responsibilities in the break up plays an important role too. If we left the relationship because we had simply enough of his/her behaviors, this won’t be the same as if we leave it because we came to the conclusion we don’t love him/her that much otherwise we wouldn’t have cheated on him/her.

The eternal unsatisfied would have such dilemma. It’s the kind of person who’s never happy, who doesn’t really know what he/she wants and can’t really enjoy the other’s company for just what it is.  Casanova and seducers fall into this category. They’re just trapped in their need to be seen by most of the people, as Milan Kundera explains it in the “Unbearable lightness of being”.

One person doesn’t look at them as he/she should, and suddenly, this person becomes more important than the rest of the world. But once the seducer got what he/she wanted, this person becomes not so important, until another one takes his/her place.

In the breakup, they would fear to become less important to the one they left. That’s why it can hurt so bad in their ego.

In the end, it’s our own failure that reflects into a breakup. Our own image. And we may be not comfortable with it. But we have to accept it. Otherwise, when love will come knocking on our door again, we can miss it with our hesitation.

There’s no peace in indecision.


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