broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

On to the next

Can we really jump from one relationship to the other? I was reading a magazine that said it’s the best way to move on and to avoid staying single and becoming a spinster. Yet, I really doubt it’s that easy. And the magazine didn’t say if the women mentioned in the article were dumped or just left for another man.

This makes a huge difference, I think. When you are the one to get dumped, in the most horrible way (dumped for another woman), it’s not that easy to jump into the love wagon straight after the break up. You may not be open to fall in love just after this painful experience.

Some women will try to forget their asshole ex by sleeping with as many men as they can. Others will just find someone to get their ex jealous (yep), while others will swear they are soo over men.

After a bitter divorce, V., 37, decided to stay away from men. She told me she’s better off alone. Her ex was really difficult, and she feared she would reproduce the same mistake with a new man. So far, I’ve never seen her with another man. But I’m not pessimistic for her.

B., 31, multiplied one-night stands and short term relationships after her breakup for a while. She said she didn’t want to get into a new relationship and commit to another man. This was a transition period for her, until she decided she was ready to jump into a relationship. But it took her almost three years to get over her ex.

O., 34, slept with her ex’s worst enemy. She told me she didn’t do this on purpose. The guy just seduced her and she let him come closer. She did admit she knew her ex would be furious to know about this. And that made her happy for a while. But she never found any happiness in her new relationship, because the man was really a true douche. And as a result, she ended up missing her ex and had difficulty forgetting about him.

When you are the one to leave, of course, it’s easy to jump into a new relationship as soon as you can. If you want to. Most women even use another man to quit their actual one. This gives them the courage to leave.

It’s not the same dynamic. When you leave, you feel a little bit empowered. When you’re the one to be left, you can feel miserable. This isn’t exactly the same and doesn’t prepare you the same way to love again.

So, is it easy for you to jump into a new relationship?


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