Long after a breakup, we can still feel our ex’s touch. Our body has a memory, and it can register a lot of things from our ex, including the way he/she touched us, kissed us, … When you had a long-term relationship, you don’t brush that off that easy. You can even feel haunted by your ex.
You don’t realize this when it’s over until another man/woman touch you again. And this can be surprising, uncomfortable.
“When it was over with N., even though he didn’t touch me for months before we broke up, I didn’t realize how many habits I had with him. I only discovered this when I had another lover. It took me by surprise the first time he touched me. I had a feeling of repulsion. And I had a hard time getting used to him at the beginning” B., 34, said.
“When it was over with H., everytime I met a new man and got to know him a little bit better in the bedroom, I couldn’t help thinking about my ex, how he handled me, touched me, kissed me and made me come. It was very disturbing. It took me some times to really forget about him physically. We spent 8 years together. It took me one year to erase his memory” Y., 35, said.
It can be even worse if you were the one who was left behind. Or if you’re still attracted to him/her.
“I left him because I had enough of his behavior. Yet, I was addicted to him. And I remained attracted to him long after it was over. Everytime I saw him, even if I was with someone else, I just had to pinch myself not to run to him and kiss him. It was a nightmare. All the men I had during that period were jealous. And they eventually left me because of that. So, I decided to avoid him for some time. And changed town. I finally forgot about him, after a whole year“H.,38, said.
This is the meaning of having him/her under you skin. We can’t change skin, unfortunately. But our old cells end up vanishing. And with a good scrub, we can get rid of a good part of it. It just takes time to get that renew.
And like we can trick our mind, we can trick our body too. It’s just a question of training…