broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The miracle of life

During one of our drunken nights with my friends, one of them announced she was pregnant. It was a shock to everyone, because she had been dating her man for only three months. “It was an accident” she told us. “But we decided to keep it. He didn’t run away when I came with the pregnacy test positive” she added.

Among the others, we had mixed feelings about this. We knew she didn’t take the pill for long, because she had been single for a long time. And she told us she wasn’t sure he was the one when they got together. One month after, she was still questioning us about him, because she wasn’t convinced about this. And then, came the pregnancy.

Luckily for her, her man stood by her side. We asked her if she was aware she was trapping him.  But she replied that she would have aborted if he was against all this. It was a mutual decision.

One of my male friends got trapped like this. He and his ex-girlfriend were separating, when she pulled out the baby thing. He was already involved in another relationship when this news broke out, and decided not to get back with his ex. He wanted her to abort. But she was against it. And carried her pregnacy until the end.

She hoped he would come back in her life. That’s what she told us. For now, he’s still angry at her for doing this behind his back. So, I don’t think he would ever come back in her life.

I wonder: why do we get pregnant?

For married and legitimate couples, it’s like an achievement. But for those who are not, what does it means?

J., 40, got pregnant because she knew she wanted to be a mother. The father of her child, well, didn’t have any importance. So she slept with random strangers until she reached her goal. She didn’t want to know who was the father. She didn’t want any help from him. She just wanted a baby.

For other women, maybe this has to do with competition. Yep. My friend got pregnant just one month after she learned her sister was pregnant too. And most of her friends around her were pregnant or had already one child. She was feeling a little bit out of the game, out of the group. I guess getting pregnant helped her filling that void.

In the case of my friend’s ex, I don’t know. We wonder how stupid she is to think she could keep him just by having his baby. Things don’t turn that way anymore. At least, in western civilizations.

Y., 41, got pregnant by her lover. Her married lover. She didn’t plan to do so. It was also an accident. But she wanted to keep it. And wanted her lover to take an active part in the education of her child. Much to the spite of his wife.

All our motivations remain mysterious, after all. That’s why it is called the miracle of life.