broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

How do I get better?

…Once I had the best

Recently, one of my friends’ grand mother passed away. She survived her husband for twenty years, but never married again or even dated someone else. My friend explained she was just fascinated by her husband, that no other man could keep up the comparison with him. That’s why she stayed single.

Nobody’s perfect. We all have flaws. Yet, when it comes to relationship, we can find someone who’s perfect for us. Because his/her chaos resonates perfectly with ours. This collision doesn’t happen very often. In fact, I don’t think there are many people who can truly understand what we are. This is why it is called true love.

How do we recognize this? From my personal experience, I would say that you just know about it. I’m a really anxious person in real life. And very few people have the power to calm down my worries. Yet, the man I love has the ability to make me careless, fearless. I just feel incredibly in peace with him,  and want to be a better person. I can spend hours talking to him and listening to what he has to say.

I did ask myself: why him? Why no one else? And the answer is simple: no one else can stand the comparison with him.

It can happen, for a reason, we get separated from the one we truly love. And it can take some time before we realize he’s the one. “When it was over with M., I dated several men, but no one was as kind or as intelligent as M. I left him because I was too young at that time to realize he was the one. And I didn’t imagine at that time I would end up living with him and having children with him J., 33, said.

If your ex is still the one you compare all your partners, years after, then you should ask yourself why you shouldn’t run back to him/her. Of course, if he/she’s not interested anymore, this could be a good reason.

In this case, this only means he/she’s not really the one. And that you will find a better person, for sure, out there.

So, do you think it’s possible to get someone better?


2 thoughts on “How do I get better?

  1. Ellis I. Lee says:

    as i read this post, i was reminded of a poem written by edna st. vincent millay called the philosopher… here is the ending:

    I know a man that’s a braver man
    And twenty men as kind,
    And what are you, that you should be
    The one man in my mind?

    Yet women’s ways are witless ways,
    As any sage will tell,–
    And what am I, that I should love
    So wisely and so well?

    why? because as you said, their chaos somehow resonates perfectly with ours!

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