It’s good to get little attentions from our lover, isn’t it? It makes us feel special to his/her eyes. These little attentions can be spectacular, or just modest, but these are proofs of love. And if these come as a surprise, it can bring a little spice into your love life. But I guess there are some rules to respect in this.
Too much of attentions can have the reverse effect. And also, we can get bored easily if there’s too much attention. You won’t get any chance to surprise him/her anymore if you surprise him/her all of the time.
But this doesn’t mean too little attentions is great either. And this got to be mutual. If only one part of the couple makes all the efforts, sooner or later, this imbalance can weigh a lot and cause the couple to go on shaky grounds.
I’ve asked around me what kind of attentions they have for their significant other, and it goes something like this:
“I select random activities we can do together, behind his back of course, otherwise, it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore. This is how we ended up in a ballroom dancing club, a karaoke restaurant, a paintball activity, cycling together on the sea shore, driving the Nürburing , … But I don’t do this every year. Just when I feel his mood is hitting a low. So far, this has worked. And I’m happy I can cheer him up like that“, C., 35, said.
“It goes from multiple messages to small gifts, all of the time. But sometimes, I try something more spectacular, like for instance kidnapping him at work and taking him on a week-end where we could just relax and enjoy some great food” O., 38, said.
“Usually, I don’t cook. Not because I don’t know how, but because I don’t have time. But sometimes, and it’s very seldom, I take my day off and spend the day cooking for him. He really likes this. Otherwise, I try to give him a massage from time to time” U., 36, said.
“I spot whenever one of his favorite groups is in town for a show. And invite him to all of these events” P., 30, said.
“I try to take care of his kids, from a previous marriage, and his old mother who’s sick” L., 35, said.
“I send him flowers, show at his place wearing nothing under my coat, invite him to good restaurants, surprise him with citytrips,...” M., 40, said.
It’s better, though, if there’s a little bit of imagination. But the most important in this, is the intention itself, not the act. It can happen we fail in the surprise we try to make. But that doesn’t mean the other wouldn’t find that sweet.
So, do you like to be cherished?